A Glint of White
by glitteratii
Summary: Ellen Walker used to dream of saving the world. Those days are long gone, but the call to be a hero still remains. Book 1 of the Monochrome Series. WARNING: Fem!Allen, Noah!Allen, PokerPair, OOC and blatant disregard for canon. REWRITE VERSON, original is still up.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

* * *

Dark nails tapped rhythmically against the bar countertop. The young woman let out a deep sigh as she leaned against the counter and scanned the room once more. "Honestly," she muttered to herself, "you'd think he'd have the courtesy to show up on time."

"I think you will find that I am perfectly on time, dear Ellen."

Ellen whipped around with a wry grin on her face. She jumped down from the towering bar-stool quickly and wrapped the man in a tight hug. It was like a greeting between old friends, only made unusual by their vast difference in appearances. "You've gotten old, Albus." grinned Ellen as he settled down next to her.

He laughed deeply, his old face appearing years younger for just a moment. "I have lived a very long life. Unlike yourself, I catch myself growing older with each year."

She beamed and signaled the bartender. "Two butterbeers Tom!" Turning back to Albus, the smile fell from her face. "Now tell me, why did you call me here? I haven't really been…connected to the wizarding world in a long time."

Albus cut straight to the chase. "Voldemort has returned."

"I thought he was dead."

"Yes, that is what people believe." He took a deep sip of his drink. "But he has returned. Last summer he lured young Harry Potter to a graveyard and performed a ritual in order to acquire a new body."

"So why am I here?" asked Ellen. "Shouldn't the Ministry be handling this?"

"Cornelius refuses to believe that he is back and has taken to slandering myself and Mr. Potter at every opportunity. You'll find no help from the Ministry at this time."

Ellen sighed deeply. "Well, shit. That's why I'm here, isn't it? You're assembling the Order again?"

"What is left of it." He said. The two sat in silence for several minutes, dwelling over the state of their world.

"I don't really have much of a choice, now do I?" Ellen sighed and threw back the rest of her drink. "Every time I think I'm finally out of the fire, something just has to pull me right back in."

"I won't force you to help us, but we need someone like you in the dark times that are to come."

"Ha!" Her laugh was a sharp, bitter one. "Albus, it's dangerous for me to be around people, you know that. Is it really worth the risk to you? If _they_ find out where I am, they'll do whatever it takes to get me again. I can't have that kind of guilt on my shoulders again. Not after..."

"They'll still be out there even if you choose not to help us." Albus spoke softly. "You can choose to do what is right instead of what is easy."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" He raised a single eyebrow at her, reminiscent of the boy he once was. "One more chance. That's all you're getting from me."

"Of course it is, dear Ellen. Now, take my arm." She sighed once more but firmly gripped onto his forearm with one hand and held her bag tightly in the other. "You remember how apparition works?"

"Yes, I do. Let's go before I change my mind." Ellen said. The old man twinkled at her once more before they disappeared with a loud crack.

* * *

The pair landed in front of a series of townhouses. Ellen looked over at him questioningly at the sight of them. "I think you will find this clears a few things up." Albus said lightly, handing her a worn piece of paper.

_The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London._

When she looked back up, another home had appeared between numbers 11 and 13. "The Fidelius charm, really?"

"It is the only sure way to ensure that we go undetected." Albus answered firmly, leading the way into the home. She followed him into the building, taking in the peeling wallpaper and threadbare carpet of the main floor.

"This place is horrendous." She muttered. Her companion simply ignored her and kept walking deeper into the house. As they got continued on, she could hear the faint noise of people talking from upstairs. Albus led her into what appeared to be the kitchen. Standing by the stove was an older woman with bright ginger hair. Her face was round and kind, but most of all, it was familiar.

Ellen slowly set her bags down before she could drop them. She swallowed thickly. "Molly?"

Molly turned around and immediately dropped the spoon she had been stirring with. "Ellen?" she said, "But...how?"

She smiled tightly, resisting the urge to step away when the older woman approached her.

"You haven't aged a day." Molly whispered in disbelief, cradling Ellen's face in her hands as if she didn't believe that the girl was real.

"I told you that the Noah don't age. You didn't believe me, did you?"

"It seemed so impossible." the woman said, "And when you disappeared, we thought the worst. Ellen, where have you been?"

"America, mostly. Turns out that the lot of them aren't so terrible once you get to know them."

Molly squeezed her shoulders tightly in a semblance of an embrace before pulling away. "Everyone will be so happy to see you, dear."

"Who all is left?"

"We didn't lose many after what happened with James and Lily. The war was over."

Ellen sat down at the table, propping her booted feet up despite Molly's protests. "Albus, when are we having the next meeting? I would rather not have to explain my existence to everyone individually."

"I believe that we will be gathering later tonight once dinner has ended. Sadly, I cannot be there, there are things at Hogwarts that require my immediate attention." With that, he began to walk out of the kitchen. Once he was in the doorway he turned back to Ellen. "You must remember that the game is much different now. You will have to adapt."

Ellen waved her hand at him and he left at the obvious dismissal. She and Molly continued to chat amiably for the next half hour, filling each other in on what had happened since they had last seen each other.

Things had calmed down after the war was over. Arrests were made, some people managed to escape by claiming they were Imperiused, but there was justice for the most part. Until recently there had been peace in the wizarding world that Ellen had never experienced. People began to relax once more and started families. Everything had been good and bright until Harry Potter had started his years at Hogwarts.

Molly told her about all of the adventures Harry and his friends had gotten into. The children she described were brave, but willing to do what was right above all else. She spoke about them as if they were all her own and it was easy to see she loved them so.

Not everything was good and bright though.

Peter was a traitor. Sirius had been arrested. Framed. Thrown into Azkaban without a trial. He'd been forced to endure years surrounded by those awful dementors until he'd escaped. Now he was forced into hiding in the childhood home he'd been so desperate to escape and never return to.

In return, Ellen wove tales of her adventures in America, the people she had met and the different types of magic that she had seen. She spoke of adventure. She told tales of the Muggle family who had taken her in for years once she'd arrived in New York City. Ellen had been everywhere and nowhere for the past fifteen years.

She meant to go on, but as she was speaking something beautiful happened. The door slowly creaked open as Sirius Black poked his head into the room. It was as if time stopped and all Ellen could do in that frozen moment was run to him.

They embraced each other tightly, holding on as if the moment they let go the other would disappear before their eyes. It was one of those moments where Ellen desperately wished she could cry.

Her eyes ran over every feature of his like she could burn it into her mind. Her friend looked so much older, but so much was still the same. He still had the long, black hair she had loved playing with so much and his eyes still held a mischievous glimmer at the edges.

"Paddy," she murmured against his neck. "I'm so sorry. I should have been there. I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

The man simply gripped her tighter, trying to convey the emotions he couldn't bring himself to speak aloud just yet. There was damage that had been done. Damage that would possibly never be healed, but for a few short moments none of that mattered because they were together again.

Ellen slowly let go of him as their hug finally ended. She looked back at Molly with everything she wanted written across her face. And bless her, the older woman simply smiled and walked back over to the pot where a spoon had been steadily stirring to give them the privacy that they needed.

She let him lead her over to the table with a simple nudge. She'd follow him to the ends of the earth in that moment, but the table would have to do. They sat quietly with their hands grasped together tightly on the surface of the table and just took in each other's presence. When they began to speak it was just as quiet and so unlike the usually boisterous friends. Murmured words and whispered apologies raced from their lips as they unloaded everything about the past fifteen years. Every heartbreak, every sorrow, every silver lining that they had found.

Every word he spoke about his time in Azkaban managed to pierce her heart like a dagger and twist. Here was a man wearing her Paddy's face and speaking with his voice, but he wasn't really her Padfoot anymore. The effortless joy that he once radiated was gone. In his place was a trapped man with regret carving lines into his once beautiful face.

The Order had taken a creature that was meant to be free as the wind and shackled him down to the earth, forbidding him to even dream of the sky.

There was anger in her heart at them. It was anger that was misplaced and certainly didn't belong, but it was there, nonetheless. It was only the promise she had made and the man sitting in front of her that kept Ellen from fleeing once more. She'd stay, if only for them.

It didn't stay tense. There were other occupants in the house, and it became clear that they wouldn't be keeping out of the way for very long. It was a set of twins in particular that set them off.

They must have just learned to Apparate with how they were constantly popping in and out of the room. There was a childlike glee on their faces that could only result from it still being so new and shiny to them. At first they scared Ellen. She'd gone so long without dealing with wizards that the sound was startling and their appearance even more so.

If it hadn't been for Molly informing her that the devils were a part of her brood, Ellen swore they could be Fabian and Gideon Prewett reincarnated.

She couldn't do more than stare as they joked between themselves, constantly pestering their mother to the point where the poor woman almost snapped only to disappear before she could get her hands on them. Sirius was more than entertained watching the spectacle unfold. It was likely the most entertainment that he would get while stuck in the grim old house.

Slowly but surely more of them began to trickle into the room as the smell of stew filled the air and wafted out of the kitchen. If there was any true constant in life, it was that teenagers were insatiable and would always gather wherever the food was.

They stuck to their own little group at the end of the table at first, whispering amongst themselves. Ellen could hear them clear as day as they wondered who she was and what she was doing there. She almost smiled at that. It was easy to forget just how young she must look to those that didn't know her.

Eventually their whispers died down as they upgraded to just straight up staring at her. Ellen sighed and finally turned away from Sirius, never letting go of his hands. "Is there something on my face?"

"Who _are_ you?" The only non-ginger one blurted out, her bushy hair practically shaking with her words.

"My name is Ellen," She said. "I'm here for the Order meeting."

The boy that wasn't a twin frowned at her. "They're letting you sit in on the meeting?"

"Well, yes. I am a member after all."

"How?" asked one of the twins. "You look like you're our age. Mum won't even let us in with the Order!"

Ellen hesitated for a moment before answering honestly. "I joined back when it was originally formed. I left around the time the war was ending, but it's back and so am I."

"But that was years ago!" the bushy haired witch said. "It isn't possible that you were even old enough to fight back then."

"I'm…I'm a Noah," said Ellen, "One of the few perks is that I look much, _much_ younger than I actually am."

"Aren't Noah labelled XXXX-Class Creatures?"

"Yes, and werewolves are labelled XXXXX, but that doesn't make them any less human. I'm just someone that pulled an unlucky hand in life. That doesn't make me a monster."

Curly still looked curious. "But how did you-"

"Some questions are a little too personal for the dinner table, don't you think?" Ellen smiled tightly. "I'll be happy to answer whatever your little heart desires later, but for right now I want to have a hot meal and catch up with a dear friend because it's been so long. Is that okay with you?"

The girl nodded, looking thoroughly chastised. Satisfaction filled her as Ellen turned back to Sirius and attempted to pick up where they left off. After all, she did need to tell him how they had to get the cow back _down_ the stairs.

The rest of the meal continued in a much calmer manner. The teens left her and Sirius alone, preferring to speak with each other. Ellen could still hear them wondering, but at least they had the courtesy of keeping their questions to themselves for the time being.

It wasn't too long before all of the plates were clean and their bellies were full. Molly began to usher all of the children out of the room so that she could prepare it for the Order meeting. There was so much going on that Ellen decided just to sit back and watch. It was good entertainment.

Molly sighed in the deep-suffering way only a mother could sigh once everything was clean, turning back to Ellen with such a disappointed look in her eyes. "They were just curious. Hermione is a very bright girl, she only wanted to know more about you."

"I'll answer her questions eventually, Molly. It's just…I only just arrived and the questions are already starting," said Ellen. "If this is what it's going to be like, you're all going to make me regret leaving my cozy Muggle apartment."

"You missed the action, admit it," said Sirius, tugging on a piece of her hair.

She laughed and swatted his hand away. "Don't be annoying. Of course I did. But the action is also risky for me. What if I bring too much attention to myself and they find me? I don't want to put any of you in that kind of danger."

"Still not wanting to see your lovely Clan?"

"I left them on a smoking battlefield after I'd just killed their leader. I betrayed them. Something tells me it won't be the friendliest of reunions."

"They could have changed, you know," Molly said from her place at the stove. "You've admitted that you're different, who's to say that they aren't as well?"

Ellen slammed her black, scaled hand down on the table, causing the other two to jump. "I'm not going to entertain this. I'm not risking your lives on a 'what if' scenario!" She stood up quickly from the table, the talons on her left hand scraping the wood. "Now. I'm going to take my things upstairs and find a spare room. I'll take my time unpacking and when the rest of the Order has arrived you can come find me."

With that said, Ellen moved from the table and grabbed her bags from where they were leaning against the wall. She rushed out of the kitchen ignoring Sirius's calls to wait up as she practically ran up the stairs. It might have been a slight overreaction on her part, but Ellen wouldn't admit that to anyone. Not when what they were suggesting could end their lives.

She just couldn't understand why they didn't get that.

It wasn't the first time she'd had that argument with Molly or even with Sirius. To them, Ellen was the friendly neighborhood Noah. She fought with them in wars and sat at their dinner table to tell jokes and trade stories. They'd never seen a Noah in action, not of them had ever seen a man walk on air as if it was solid ground. They'd never seen a girl with an angel's face and a demon's eyes. Never seen someone control people's limbs as if they were puppets and he was the puppeteer.

They'd never seen a piano and thought of the pure devastation it could cause.

There was an evil that came with that Clan of Noah. Unless the Clan was completely on her side, it wasn't something that she was willing to risk.

That was the absolute truth yet it still didn't stop her heart from aching with pure longing. For just a moment she allowed herself to imagine what it could be like. Ellen could feel it. The warmth, the love, everything that she dreamed of and more.

She could have Joyd again… No. She couldn't let herself go down that rabbit hole again.

There was nothing more that she wanted in the world to be reunited with her family, but good things don't happen to foolish exorcists that meddle with Noah. She'd learned that lesson the hard way.

* * *

She dragged her bags down the hallway with a groan. Why had she decided to rush out of the room without even asking if there were empty rooms on that floor? Going back now would be admitting defeat, but she didn't want to spend the next hour peeking into doorways.

The faint sound of conversation caught her attention as she continued down the hall. Ellen frowned and hefted her bags up, quickly moving towards the noise. As she got closer to one of the cleaner looking doors, she was able to make out a few voices. It sounded like the children from dinner.

Ellen quietly set her things down outside the door and approached it. She knocked on it quickly before she lost her nerve, the purple gem on her left hand glinting in the low light. "Um, hello?"

The door opened just a crack as the ginger girl stuck her head out into the hallway. Her face brightened considerably when she saw who was there and she stepped back to open the door completely. "Hi! Your name is Ellen, right? Come on in."

She felt herself relax a bit as she followed the ginger girl into the room. The rest of the teens were sitting in a circle on the ground, some kind of card game scattered all around them. One of the twins inched over to make room for her and patted the ground next to him.

Ellen smiled to herself and walked over, making herself as comfortable as one can be on the ground. "So, what do you lot do for fun around here."

"There's not much to do," the non-twin sighed. "Mum's had us cleaning out doxy infestations for _days_. I think my hand's about to fall off!"

"I can imagine. Sirius used to tell us horror stories about this place. I can't believe the Order managed to get him to come back here!" laughed Ellen.

"So you know Sirius? Like for real?"

"Mhmm. We go way back. He and the rest of that group took me under their wing back when the Order was first formed. I suspect he's always had a soft spot for misunderstood yet highly dangerous creatures."

The curly haired girl leaned forward. "You were really there then? Back in the first war?"

Ellen sighed and leaned back on her hands, wincing at the scraping sound her talons made against the aging hardwood floor. There were so many ways to answer her, yet only the truth really felt right. "I was. At first it was just because Albus is my friend and he asked me to, but eventually it was more than that. I loved the friends I had made, and I wanted to protect them."

It must have been the right answer because the girl nodded in satisfaction and leaned away from her. Ellen was relieved in a way that she shouldn't have been. She shouldn't be caring about the approval of a teenage girl, yet here she was.

"I have to admit; I didn't just come by to talk," said Ellen with a soft smile. "I was hoping that one of you could maybe show me to a spare room? I'll be here for a couple of weeks at the very least and it would be for the best if I could get settled before the meeting starts."

Curly met the other's eyes before nodding and pulling herself up off of the floor. "There aren't a lot of rooms to sleep in so most of us have been sharing, but there's a sitting room further down if you don't mind moving things around."

"Anything is good at this point. I had to take an international portkey to get here, I'm exhausted," Ellen laughed and took the offered hand to pull herself off the ground. She followed Curly out of the room, quickly waving goodbye to the others as she grabbed her bags.

The aforementioned room was only a couple of doors down and it wasn't in as bad of shape as Ellen was expecting it to be. There were a few dust-covered pieces of furniture and she could hear all of the doxies in the curtains, but that was nothing that couldn't be fixed with some of the spells she had in her arsenal.

She set her bags down and pulled her wand out from where she had stuck it in her boot. It took a couple of vanishing charms to get rid of everything but a spare sofa and wardrobe. She could at least use those.

Suddenly she was feeling a bit mischievous as she turned back to Curly with a grin. "What do you think about learning something cool?"

Curly's eyes widened and she nodded quickly, looking almost afraid to speak. Ellen motioned for her to come closer as she adjusted her grip on her wand. "Okay, so this is something I learned from a housewife back in…1820? Somewhere around that time. Brilliant woman, sadly trapped by the time she was born in. The incantation is _Mundomius_ and you just need to flick it like so, just a bit sharper than _Scourgify_. It's all about intent with this spell, you've got to focus on just the room, or you'll end up cleaning the whole block in one go."

She giggled at the young witch's eager nod and flicked her wand sharply. "_Mundomius_!"

The room started to change before their very eyes. The thick layer of dust that had enveloped the room seemed like it was melting away, forming a ball in the center of the room. The aged wallpaper and carpet were much more colorful than they had been before and the grime that had crusted on the windows was yanked away, letting the dim light of twilight into the room. The ball quickly flew at them as it seemed like it was sucked into the tip of Ellen's wand.

Every bit of dirt had simply disappeared, leaving the place looking like it had never been as severely neglected as it was.

"That was amazing…" Curly said in awe as she ran her hands along the clean walls. "I've never seen anything like it."

"Magic used to be different. Back before it was all carefully regulated by the Ministry there were people that would simply invent a spell to do whatever they needed. Then they'd pass it on to their children and their children's children, and so on." explained Ellen. "So much has been lost to the winds of time. I'm simply fortunate enough to stay…untouched by that."

Curly just stared at her, but Ellen could recognize that bright look anywhere. She smiled shyly at the girl. "You know, I could teach you some of it? If you're interested, of course."

"Yes!" Curly blurted out, flushing at how quickly she'd answered. "I would really like that Ellen."

"You've got to do something for me first."

"What is it?"

Ellen laughed and bumped her shoulder against the girl's lightly. "Tell me your name, silly girl. None of you have introduced yourselves yet."

"Hermione," The girl laughed. "Hermione Granger."

"Shakespeare? Nice touch," Ellen said, "You want to stick around while I do some conjuring? It might take me a bit so you can go grab the others if you'd like."

Hermione nodded and rushed out of the room without another word. She laughed to herself; if only to be so young and easily excited again.

Conjuring was a tricky bit of magic that Ellen felt like she never had enough practice with. She took her time with the room trying to make it perfect. The last thing she wanted was a spring sticking into her back because she wanted to be lazy with her wand movements.

At some point during her conjuration Hermione had arrived with the others. Ellen could distantly hear them whispering amongst themselves as she conjured, but she couldn't spare the extra attention to actually decipher what it was that they were saying.

They were teenagers, it couldn't be that important anyways.

She frowned in concentration as she started to put the finishing touches on everything. A couple of pillows on top of the bed, some curtains to make the windows look less drab. She even enlarged the light fixture so that the group of chattering doxies could have a place to rest.

The furniture that she'd saved from the room would have to stay the way that it was because that much magic was _exhausting_. Ellen collapsed on her newly conjured bed with a groan, not even lifting her head to motion for the others to come inside.

They hesitated in the doorway, looking up at the doxies in concern. Ellen groaned again. "I promise you they won't bother you with me in here. They're pretty friendly to Noah."

Finally the three of them made their way into the room, gingerly sitting on the edge of the sofa Ellen had kept as if they weren't sure it was okay to make themselves comfortable yet. She rolled over to stare at them, short reddish-brown hair falling all over her face.

"C'mon, I know you've got more questions. Get the introductions over with and ask away," said Ellen, shoving her hair out of the way.

Cu–_no_–Hermione quickly introduced the others as Ron and Ginny Weasley, informing her that the set of twins were named Fred and George. Ellen nodded and squinted over at them. "You're not a Weasley. What are you? Girlfriend, friend, distant relative, irritated neighbor?"

Hermione flushed a bright red. "I'm just a friend! It's safer to be here than at home for right now, that's all."

"How old are you?" Ron blurted out before anyone could say anything else.

She laughed and rolled up onto her stomach. "I was born around 1787 so that makes me…208? 209 by the end of December, but once you get to be my age you kind of stop counting."

"Are you going to fight with the Order?" asked Ginny.

"I assume that's why Albus asked me to come help. I never really know with him."

Ginny tilted her head to the side. "So you're friends with the Headmaster too?"

"Absolutely," said Ellen. "I've known Albus since he was barely more than a toddler. He's been my closest friend and confidant for many years. There are very few that I've been able to say that I trust with my life completely and he's one of them."

"Where are the other Noah? _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ says that there is half a dozen of you that are still alive," said Hermione quickly. "You're here, where are the others?"

Ellen sighed and stared down at her mismatched hands. "I can't really answer that. We didn't leave off on the best of terms and I've been trying to avoid them ever since. If I had to guess, they're probably in Europe or Asia. I think Jasdevi was heading to North America last time I spoke to them, but that was in the early 1800's. All I know is that I'm here," She laughed to herself. "Shouldn't have told Newt any of this, wouldn't have if I'd known the jerk was going to publish everything. But I've always been a sucker for curly haired men that aren't good for me."

Ginny opened her mouth to say something when a loud crack interrupted her. The twins that had been suspiciously quiet since lunch landed right on top of Ron.

"Bloody hell!" he hissed, shoving them off. "You couldn't land anywhere else?"

"You see, dearest brother o'mine-" One started

"-our lovely guest has redecorated," The other one continued "So how could we know-"

"-where to land?" The first one grinned mischievously.

Ellen rubbed the bridge of her nose, the twin-speak was reminding her of Jasdevi in the most irritating of ways. "Is there something important or did you come here just to annoy your brother?"

"Mum told us to tell you-"

"-that the Order meeting is about to start."

She sighed in resignation and rolled off her bed. "Alright, alright. C'mon, everyone out. As lovely as you all seem to be, we aren't quite at the point where I'm okay with you lurking around in my room alone."

The twins disappeared with another loud crack as she ushered the others out, deftly locking her door behind her. Ellen smiled and waved at the remaining three as she all but sprinted down the stairs. She considered sliding down the banister for a moment but decided that Molly might cook _her_ for dinner if she pulled a stunt like that on her first day back.

Loud voices could be heard from the kitchen and when she finally shoved the door open and entered, she was greeted by a decent group of people. There were several faces that she recognized, even though they now showed the passage of time. Some unknown faces stared back at her though, and she grinned sheepishly. She opened her mouth to say something but quickly ducked as a bright red spell flew at her. She popped back up, glaring at the wizard at the end of the table. "Honestly Alastor, that's getting a bit old."

"You've got to remain vigilant," He replied gruffly, ignoring the way she stuck her tongue out at him.

Ellen quickly sat down next to a young witch with lilac hair. "Ellen Walker, nice to meet you."

"Nymphadora Tonks. Call me Tonks," Tonks winked at her. "I've heard a bit about you, Mad-Eye over there never shut up about how good a duelist you were when he was training us."

"I knew you cared Alastor!" she called down the table, cackling at his eye roll. "I'm guessing you're new to the Order?"

"Finished my Auror training last year and when Albus Dumbledore asked, I couldn't say no," said Tonks. "It's absolute rubbish what the Ministry is saying about him, he's the greatest wizard I've ever met."

Ellen smiled softly. "He's always had that kind of effect on people. Molly?" she said, "Are we waiting on anyone or can we go ahead and get started?"

"Remus should be here in just a few-" Before Molly could finish her sentence, the man in question appeared with a loud crack.

She couldn't help the quick intake of breath at seeing him again. Remus looked tired, more tired than he'd ever looked before. His clothing was threadbare and his face showing fine lines of worry. Their eyes met for just a second, his widening in shock before he turned away from her without a word.

That stung. Ellen definitely deserved it, but it still stung.

She looked down the table at Sirius in desperation, but all he did was shake his head and turn away from her as well.

Fine. They could ignore it for now, but they'd have to talk about it eventually. She'd have to own up to what she had done and what she had failed to do. All Ellen could hope for was that Remus could find it in his wonderful, kind heart to forgive her for the terrible hurt she'd caused.

However, the Order did not wait for emotional crises to be over. Kingsley had started the meeting while she was dealing with her feelings and was mid-sentence when Ellen finally tuned in. "…we will be retrieving Potter from his relatives tomorrow night. Tonks, have you set up the diversion?"

The witch snorted. "The muggles think that they're going to an award ceremony for the best kept lawn in England. We're in the clear."

Kingsley nodded solemnly. "I want Tonks in front of Potter, Moody we need you keeping up the rear. Lupin will fly below and the rest of us will circle back to ensure we aren't followed."

He continued on. "The Ministry has continued to slander both Potter and Dumbledore. Luckily Dumbledore able to secure a trial for Potter's underage use of magic in six days. Anything else we need to cover?"

Mundungus Fletcher spoke up, looking at Ellen cautiously. "Who's the bird?"

"I'm Ellen Walker, the Fourteenth Child of Noah," said Ellen. "I fought with the Order before and I'm here to fight again."

Several of them looked like they wanted to say something, anything, but the veteran members of the Order just shook their heads. They knew what Ellen could do and where her loyalties lied. That was enough for them. Kingsley looked between them and shook his head. "If that's all, then I believe that we're done here. We meet here again tomorrow by at least 7 p.m. to retrieve Potter."

People nodded and quickly began to Apparate out of the room now that the meeting was finished. A few of them lingered to speak to Molly about some plans, but they did not stay too long. Before they knew it, it was just Ellen and the remaining Marauders sitting in the kitchen.

Sirius stood and patted Remus on the shoulder, only glancing back at Ellen before he too walked out to give them the privacy that they needed.

* * *

The tension was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. Ellen wanted to speak, to explain herself and her actions but it felt like her tongue was made of lead.

"Why," asked Remus. "Why did you go?"

There it was. The question that had haunted her for the past fifteen years.

"I-I was scared, Remus," said Ellen. "I was terrified. One moment we were all together and then you were infiltrating Greyback's pack. Sirius was acting strange. Peter was disappearing. Lily and James were talking about going into hiding. I've already watched all of my friends die before. I didn't want to watch you die too."

"Leaving wasn't the answer, Ellen. We all needed you. I-" Remus's voice broke with emotion. "I needed you and you just disappeared like none of it mattered to you."

He stared down at the table with a heartbreakingly blank look on his face. "Did any of it matter to you? Was it ever real?"

"Of course it was real!" Ellen said, desperately wanted to grab his hand. "Remus, please, look at me – Remus!"

Remus finally met her eyes, his own glassy with emotion. Her heart clenched in her chest. "Please don't sit here and think it wasn't real. Every moment was real. Every feeling was real. I left because of what's wrong with me, not because of you. It was never because of you."

She moved closer to him, slowly raising a hand up to cup his cheek. She hesitated for a moment before gently laying her hand on his face, her thumb caressing his cheek in an achingly familiar motion. Remus's shoulders slumped as all of the fight in him left at once. In its place was just pure exhaustion.

He'd never looked that tired before. Not even during the war when the world felt like it was going to end. Instead, it looked like it ended up resting on his shoulders.

He leaned in slowly, resting his forehead against hers. "I need to hear it Ellen. I need you to say it."

"I…I loved you, Remus," said Ellen. "I loved you with all that I had to give."

"I wish...You look so young to me now," said Remus "You said this would happen but I didn't believe it. Could it ever be as it was? We can't go back, can we?"

"Oh, Moony…" Ellen sighed and brought her clawed hand to rest on his other cheek. "I would like to. I really would."

Remus chuckled and pulled away; his eyes sad. "There's a 'but' coming, isn't there?"

His eyes were yellow. They were always yellow. Not the gold that her heart longed for, but instead a shallow imitation of what was once hers. "I need time, hell, we both need time to think about everything. This is all so much and so fast. I know that I don't deserve it, but can you give me that much?"

"I waited fifteen years to hear that answer, what's a few more weeks?" Remus smiled. "You can have as much time as you need."

He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, just the barest brush of his lips against her skin. "Go get some rest. You need it."

Then Remus was gone, and Ellen was left alone in the kitchen with nothing but the sound of her own regrets roaring in her ear like a never-ending waterfall. Remus was good. He was kind and had treated her with a kindness that she hadn't known for so many years. She gently rested her head in her hands, unable to push the image of beautiful, warm golden eyes out of her mind. It was hard to want the moon when she once had all of the stars in the sky.

What was she doing here?

* * *

**Chapter 1 of the rewrite is done! I have no clue why I made Ellen so damn aggressive in the first one, but it's all fixed up here :)**

**enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

* * *

Ellen simply sat there on her conjured bed, staring at the peeling gray wallpaper. It had taken her a decent bit of time to finally pull herself up from the kitchen table and make her way back to her room, ignoring the concerned looks that Molly gave her when she came back in. Everything felt like it was happening so fast. She'd forgotten that while she might be frozen in time, everyone else moved on without her. _Everyone_.

Eventually, she forced herself to stand and place her bag onto her bed from its spot on the floor. Ellen sighed as she looked down into it. Extension charms were so useful for packing, but so completely annoying when it came time to locate everything to unpack. She unzipped the faded duffel bag and stuck her arm in all the way to her shoulder.

From the bag Ellen pulled the giant enchanted mirror that Albus had gifted her with so many years ago. It was annoying and made snarky comments, but she just couldn't let it go for whatever reason. Albus knew her too well.

She carried it over to the corner and set it down gently, adjusting it to the right angle. The mirror came to life once stepped away. "Looks like someone needs to update her charms."

Ellen whipped around and rushed up close to the mirror. It was faint, but she could see the beginnings of a familiar red pentagram showing up on her forehead.

Such a pain.

It always took several layers of charms to cover up her hair and scar. The discoloration had been caused by dark matter so it was a constant battle of the leftover matter eating away at the charms faster than she could apply them. These days Ellen just shoved as many as she could manage and hoped that her mirror caught them fading before she did.

"Thanks," she said, "you always notice before I do."

"My pleasure, Miss Ellen."

She rolled her eyes good naturedly. "I've told you a thousand times, you don't need to call me Miss."

The mirror remained irritatingly silent. Ellen grumbled to herself as she started to pull everything out of the bag. Some of her belongings were drifting way at the bottom, forcing her to almost climb inside of the bag itself to retrieve them.

Of course, she didn't do that. Getting stuck in the void of an extension charm was a mistake that one did not repeat.

She hefted all of her Muggle clothing out of the bag without much fanfare. Ellen didn't own any robes anymore, not since she'd left the magical world behind fifteen years ago. Luckily, she'd kept her wand.

A few short flicks of her wand and muttered spells were all it took to get everything moving. Her clothes were flying all around her folding themselves and organizing into neat stacks. She frowned slightly at the pile sitting on her bed waiting to be put away. She didn't realize that she owned that much black. Old habits did die hard though.

Setting her wand down on the bed next to the clothes, Ellen walked over to the wardrobe she'd kept from earlier. Knowing her luck, the blasted thing would be full of doxies and she'd have even more of the little monsters sitting around begging for her attention.

As she approached the wardrobe it began to shake violently. Ellen's eyes widened and she dove for her wand, her scream echoing throughout the house as the boggart leaped out at her.

* * *

Hermione was sitting in her bed quietly reading up on what little information she had on the Noah when she heard a loud scream from down the hall. The book fell from her hands as she shot up in bed, looking over at Ginny. The pair met eyes and immediately jumped up and rushed out of the room with wands in hand. Whoever had screamed was on their floor.

Realization filled Hermione with ice water in her veins. How hadn't she realized it earlier? "Ellen's in the room with the boggart."

She took off towards Ellen's room while Ginny ran down the stairs to where her mother was washing up in the kitchen. Hermione threw open the door and gasped at the sight before her.

Ellen was on the ground, her wand resting a few feet away from her on top of the bed. Her already pale face was colorless and she was shaking as she stared down the strange man that had stepped out of the wardrobe.

The man looked like a proper Victorian gentleman with his top hat and thin, well groomed mustache. Everything about him was completely immaculate and it only served to make him that much more unnerving. Sickly golden eyes stared down at Ellen as he stepped closer.

"You just have to say their names, dear Allen." It cooed at her. "You can have them back. Just say their names."

Ellen backed away until she hit the foot of her bed, wand completely forgotten. Her eyes flew to where Hermione was standing in the doorway. "You've got to go; it isn't safe here!"

"Ellen, it's just a boggart," Hermione tried to make her voice as soothing as possible. "You need to grab your wand and you can get rid of it."

"No, no, no!" Ellen said, her clawed left hand ripping holes in the carpet beneath her. "I have to kill him. He'll kill everyone if I don't."

The man began to warp before their very eyes. He blew up like a balloon until he was almost cartoonishly round, his face elongated into a wide mouthed grin that sent shivers down her spine. The only thing in common that remained were the glowing yellow eyes so full of madness and hatred. The creature snarled at her and lunged just as Remus burst into the room. "_Riddikulus!_"

It turned towards Remus with mad eyes, making to attack him when it suddenly began to deflate as if it was a balloon. The creature flew around the room, crashing into walls before it vanished back into the wardrobe with a loud thud.

Hermione ran to hold the doors of the wardrobe closed as Remus slowly approached Ellen. She flinched as he gently wrapped his hands around her arms. "Ellen, it was just a boggart. It's gone."

She looked so small when she looked up at Remus, golden eyes glittering as she threw herself into his arms. The man pulled her close, murmuring comforting words. His hands smoothed over her short hair while she shook and clung to him with everything she had.

"Thank you, Remus," said Ellen against his chest. "I don't think I like this house very much."

He chuckled in agreement, letting her hold onto him as Hermione looked on at the scene. There was such a feeling of intimacy surrounding the pair that Hermione felt like she was intruding by being there. This wasn't something that she was meant to see, yet she couldn't look away.

"Mad-Eye will come remove it tomorrow. Do you want to find another room to sleep tonight?" asked Remus when she finally stepped out of his embrace.

Ellen shook her head. "I'll be okay. Some sticking charms should keep it shut," She turned to Hermione, a fragile smile on her face that any small movement could have knocked off. "You can leave it alone; I've got it handled."

Her tone didn't leave any room for Hermione to argue. All she could do was robotically step away from the wardrobe and move towards the door. She hesitated at the door frame, looking back at where Ellen and Remus were standing. Her former teacher gave her a warm smile and a nod, a promise that it would all be okay. She just had to trust him.

All of the Weasley children were waiting for her in the room when she got back with a million questions that she wasn't sure that she quite had all of the answers to yet.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

"Ellen..." Remus murmured once Hermione had left the room, stepping closer. "What was that?"

"I – That was – That was the Earl," said Ellen. "That was Adam."

"It didn't look human."

The question was clear in Remus's voice. Her half answers weren't going to fly. "But he was. He never liked his real face, it looked too much like his brother. It makes sense that he would be my greatest fear. Not even death can free me from him."

"You said he was dead."

"And he is, Remus," said Ellen, pulling away from him. "Doesn't stop him from haunting me."

His eyes were full of pity. Pity that she didn't want or need. What was his pity going to do for her? It wouldn't stop the shadow of Adam from following her around. It wouldn't free her from the guilt of killing him or the guilt of everything she had done since that fated moment. Remus always looked at her like she was something fragile, something that needed to be protected.

Ellen was a Noah. She didn't need his protection.

"I think you need to go," said Ellen. "Like you said, I need my sleep."

Remus hesitated before he nodded. It would do her some good to get space away from him. He gave a muttered 'goodnight' before he walked out of the door, stopping only once to glance back at her. Ellen stubbornly refused to meet his gaze for fear that she might shatter like the delicate creature he believed she was.

The door closed with a soft click, but it echoed throughout the room. She took one heaving breath before she collapsed in on herself, falling to her knees. Ellen rubbed her hands against her eyes firmly, trying to force the tears that had refused to fall for the past two hundred years. "I knew coming back here was a mistake," she whispered to herself. "Wizards bring nothing but pain and death. I should have just stayed away."

She stayed in that spot for what felt like hours. With every breath she stitched herself back together, forcing herself to repair the broken pieces that made up Ellen Walker one more time.

It had felt so real to see Adam. All it took was one moment of him standing before her and she was suddenly sixteen again and so, _so_ scared that she didn't know what to do, didn't know what was right and what was wrong. But there was only one truth and she had to remember it.

The Millennium Earl was dead.

Ellen had killed him herself. On that horrible day filled with so much bloodshed and heartbreak, it had been Ellen that shoved the Sword of Exorcism into the Earl's still beating heart. She'd felt it all as if she _was_ him. She'd felt the rage and the pain of the memory of Adam the moment he died. Every bit the traitor the original Fourteenth had been, she'd succeeded in doing what he failed to do. She'd betrayed the Noah and _won._ The memory of Adam had been so damaged, so shattered by the betrayal that it was almost beyond repair.

It would be another millennia before the Earl was able to return to the earth, and when he did return, she would be there to kill him again. That was her fated role as the Destruction of Noah. Never again would the Earl bring about ruin to the world.

But no matter how much she tried to convince herself that it was all over, something in the back of her mind told her to stay on guard; something was telling her that she was being watched even when she was all alone.

Ellen Walker wasn't the only one out there. The others were still alive. She could feel them in the back of her mind, an ever present tingle. It didn't matter how far she ran or how well she hid, they were still connected. They would still find her one day.

Not today though.

She would be better this time. No one was going to die on her watch, no one was going to be betrayed. Even if it took until her last breath, Ellen would be the savior she once believed herself to be.

* * *

The bright sunlight was what woke her up the next morning. At some point in the night Ellen had fallen asleep on the ground curled up in a ball. She sat up with a groan, her joints cracking obnoxiously as she stretched. The ground hadn't been a comfortable place to sleep when she was younger and much more durable and it still wasn't a good spot now that she was ancient.

Ellen moved through her morning routine slowly, allowing herself to actually wake up before deciding to risk facing everyone downstairs. There would just be more talk if she hid away in her room like something as simple as a boggart was enough to put her out of commission.

The kitchen was filled with the sounds and smells of breakfast cooking on the stove top when she made her way down there. Molly was humming to herself as she controlled everything, looking completely in her element, while Sirius was sat at the end of the table with a mug of coffee in hand.

She quickly filled her own cup of the liquid gold and settled down in the chair next to him, laying her head on his shoulder to snuggle closer to his warmer body. Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in. "Moony told me you ran into the boggart upstairs, you okay?"

"I will be," said Ellen. "Rattled me a bit, that's all."

"That was the Earl you saw, wasn't it?"

"Of course it was. What else do I have to be scared of?"

Whatever he was going to say was cut off by the ruckus of the twins stumbling into the kitchen rubbing the sleep from their eyes. The pair mumbled out a quick good morning to the occupants of the room, collapsing into their chairs in a half asleep slump.

"Ah, to be young and full of energy," She teased, summoning a cup of coffee for them. "Shouldn't you boys be excited? It's almost time for you to go back to school!"

A loud groan was the only response that she received. She laughed and went back to leaning against Sirius and quietly drinking her coffee. "Are you excited at least Sirius?" She spoke so softly that only he could hear her.

Sirius nodded against her again. "I wish I could have him come live here..."

"What's he like?" She asked. "Is he like them?"

"The very best of them. He looks just like James, but he has Lily's eyes," Ellen gently squeezed his arm when she heard him get choked up.

"I wish I had gotten to see him more," Her voice broke slightly. "He was such a small thing when I last saw him and now he's all grown. I feel like if I even blink then you'll all be grown and gone."

He nudged her playfully. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Who else is going to be your human pillow if I'm not around?"

"Not fair," she whined and burrowed herself deeper against his side, "You're so warm and I'm always cold."

"Brilliant witch that you are and you can't even conjure a jacket." Ellen smacked his shoulder lightly.

"Oh shush."

Moments later Hermione and Ginny walked into the kitchen looking much more awake than the twins. Ellen nodded a greeting at them, wanting to scream at the cautious look on their faces. It was clear that Hermione had shared what she saw the previous night.

"Hey," Ellen said. "I'm sorry you had to see that; I should have checked that thing before I just opened it like that."

"What was that thing?" asked Hermione.

Ellen sighed and took a deep swig of her coffee. "He was known as the Earl of Millennium, but his name was Adam."

"I've read about him," Hermione replied, "The Earl was the leader of the Noah though..."

She trailed off and stared at Ellen who resigned herself to answering. "He was also a complete maniac. Not exactly the kind of person you want leading you. The memory of Adam has always been the worst of us, and it twists the host into something that isn't even human anymore. They always go insane. We all do one day."

Sirius squeezed her knee comfortingly, but she brushed his hand away. "There's a good reason there aren't many of us left. Noah's memories are strong, and they start to overwhelm you if you aren't careful. Most people end up killing themselves before they've even fully awakened. Not that I blame them, it's a horrifying process if you don't know what's happening."

"Then what memory are you?" Ginny asked. "How are you still, well, you?"

"I shouldn't even exist." Ellen drained the last bit of her coffee. "But that's a story for another time."

Molly scowled slightly at her. "They are children, they don't need to know these things."

"I was their age when I fought in my first war. They won't be children for much longer," Ellen said.

"Still, they aren't of age yet and I won't have you filling their heads with that kind of talk."

"Okay, okay," Ellen relented, "No more talking about the scary creatures. Tell me Molly, what kind of work are you going to have us do today? I know you've got something planned."

"We've got to keep cleaning the rooms," said Molly primly. "There's a serious infestation of doxies in this place."

Ellen wrinkled her nose at the thought of it. Cleaning was so _boring_.

"You know, there's a bit of work I need to do on the Ark," said Ellen. "I'd just be a distraction around here. It'll be better without me, I promise."

Her pleading must have worked because Molly shook her head in resignation, waving her off. "Be back before dinner.

She shot up with a grin, walking quickly out of the room before the woman had a chance to change her mind. Ellen could hear the children discussing whatever the Ark could be, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Anything that would get her out of being stuck in dust covered rooms spraying infested curtains was good enough for her.

Honestly, it was like Molly had actually expected her to stick around for busy work of all things.

It was simple enough to open the Ark. A quick tug at the air and a gate was rising up out of the ground in her bedroom. Ellen squinted at the bright light surrounding it. She'd forgotten how blinding the gates could be in such a small area.

She swung the gate door open and slipped inside before anyone could come into her room to inspect the light that was no doubt shining out from underneath the door. The gate slammed loudly behind her and vanished into thin air, leaving her in the unnatural stillness of Noah's Ark.

No matter how many times Ellen entered the Ark, its sheer presence overwhelmed her. It was beautiful. Bright white buildings and cobblestone paths surrounded the magnificent tower where that the Clan of Noah used to call home. The air was cleaner than anything she had ever experienced, devoid of the smog and fumes that hung heavily in the world outside. The sky had once always, _always_ been a brilliant blue, stretching on as if there was no end to this tiny piece of paradise. Now it was covered dark grey storm clouds, rain falling from them at every hour of the day.

Here was the place that had once housed all of humanity and seen to its rebirth from the children of Noah. Instead of paradise it was an empty place devoid of the life that once filled every corner, mourning its losses in the same way it's master did.

Ellen sighed deeply when she looked up at the tower. The gate couldn't have brought her any closer?

With a lazy wave of her hand she willed the Ark to move her towards it. Everything blurred around her for a moment before she was standing exactly where she wanted to be. The entrance to the vast gardens that surrounded the tower was just as beautiful as every other part of the Ark.

The garden was as unnaturally still as it always was. Ellen walked through it with light steps, every sound she made reminding her that this was not a place that she belonged in. It was only through her cursed heritage that she was able to step foot in a place as sacred as this garden.

Shiny white stones marked the path to the center of the garden. There in the middle, right where it always was, sat that damned tree. Ellen hated that tree, hated everything it stood for. Still, at the end of the day it had been the only place that felt right. It was the only place that deserved to have him resting beneath its roots for all of eternity.

The grass was soft and dry when she sat down at the foot of the tree, just as she expected it would be. Her fingers delicately brushed against the engraved stones nestled in the ground before her. They hadn't changed a bit since the day she'd laid him to rest.

_'Mana Walker, father and brother_' one read. She gently stroked the second one, her throat tightening up.

Her eyes burned fiercely, yet no tears came to her eyes. Perhaps that was another one of her punishments. Every bit of human grief had dried up in her, leaving her as empty as she'd left the others. This was her penance.

"I've missed you," said Ellen, her voice cracking. "I don't know how long it's been for the two of you since I last came. It's been fifteen years out there in the real world. I…I never wanted to come back here. There are too many ghosts, even here in this damn garden."

"I keep expecting to see them. It feels like Rhode is going to swing down from the branches any moment, or Tyki is going to be next to me. I can hear the music even when I'm not playing it. There are so many memories I have of this place. Some of them are mine, but some of them aren't. It hurts, Mana. It hurts so much. My head feels like it's going to split into two any moment now, but it never will. That's what I deserve; I deserve to suffer like this. Neah was a traitor and I ended up being just like him. Would you be disappointed in me, Mana?" Ellen shivered despite the warm temperature of the Ark, the gentle rain soaking her down to her bones. If she listened close enough, she could hear the whispers of the past. Rhode's laughter, the murmur of conversation from the twins, Sheryl and Tyki's ever filled wine glasses clinking together. "You disappointed me. You let him take your mind and your body without a second thought. Did you even fight him? Was I not enough of a reason for you to keep trying?"

"You always told me to keep on walking. For two hundred years, that's all I've done. I've kept going because that's all I know how to do…But I'm so alone, Mana. Even surrounded by people that care for me, I'm still alone. I'll always be alone without them," She ran a long, black talon down the side of the other tombstone. "I'm so sorry, my little one. I'll come back soon for you."

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the smaller headstone. There was no doubt in her mind that much more time had passed outside of the Ark than in it, but that's what she had wanted. Even if she hadn't asked for it, the Ark was a part of her, and it knew. It knew that she needed her space away from all of the people waiting for her at Grimmauld Place and in return it gave her that space.

Her hour on the Ark had most likely been several hours in the outside world. It was probably dark outside in London. Oh, Molly was going to be absolutely furious with her for skipping out on the entire day like that.

The wicked voice that lived within her whispered for her to stay. Stay inside the Ark, let the rest of the world pass while she remained frozen in time. What would it matter if the earth turned to dust? She wouldn't be there to witness it. She could remain in her paradise, the way that Noah had intended for them to all those millennia ago.

Ellen shook her head, vanishing those thoughts. She couldn't allow herself to be tempted like that. Even if she was a Noah, she was a human first. She wouldn't abandon humanity in the way that their god had.

With a wave of her hand, she opened a gate back into Grimmauld Place. The bright light of the gate looked out of place in the garden, so much so that shivers ran down her spine. The tree was watching her and it didn't want her gate in its paradise. Before she could stop herself, Ellen had opened the gate and stepped through without a second thought as to where the gate was.

* * *

She landed face first on the kitchen with a thud, groaning as she lifted her head up. Sirius was sitting at the table with a cup of tea, his mouth slightly agape as he took in the sight before him. She sighed and closed the gate with a simple motion and sat up on the table. It was surprisingly comfortable, and she was actually taller than Sirius for once. Not too bad.

"I really need to pay attention to where I'm opening those," said Ellen, rubbing her forehead where it had slammed against the table. "Last time I messed up this bad, I stepped right off the edge of the cliff at Headquarters. That was a bit of a tumble."

His shoulders shook with his barely suppressed laughter. "Where on earth did we find you?"

Her grin fell from her face as her vision blurred. For just a moment, she was in a different place. A larger room filled with people rushing about, carrying their food as they tried to get their meals down before they were called out on their next assignment. There was a man with long, straight hair sitting across from her all the same, his face hard to make out through the haze of her memories. He was scowling but there was no real bite to his words, not anymore.

'_Where did we find you, beansprout?'_

She'd laughed at that, the high collar of her uniform brushing her neck. She had laughed at most of his not-jokes back then.

Sirius cleared his throat, yanking her back into reality. He looked as if he wanted to reach out to her in concern but hesitated, his hand hovering in the air near her. Ellen blinked hard and shook her head, smiling dimly at him. "Sorry, you just reminded me of someone for a minute."

That was all she needed to say for Sirius to understand. In all of the years that they had known each other, she'd always been a bit quiet about her past. They knew enough about her and her history with the other Noah, but that was about it. There were times when they would say something, or she'd see something that looked familiar and it was like Ellen wasn't there anymore. She saw ghosts that none of them would ever know the names of, would never know the stories behind. Everything that Ellen considered dear was kept close to her heart. The only moments she would ever truly open up was to admit that she had loved before and in return she'd been forced to watch them crumble away and die before her very eyes.

In even rarer moments, ones that only existed wrapped in warm bed sheets and underneath stars in the middle of the night, she would admit that she wished she'd been able to die with them.

For all of the times that Sirius had wished that he and his friends could be immortal in the way that Ellen was, it was easy to see what a curse true immortality was. This tiny girl sitting on the table before him was trapped. She was trapped in a body that would never age, never change. She was trapped in a world that continued to move on while she was firmly rooted in her own moment in time. Ellen had been there before all of them were even a whisper in the wind and she would be there long after they too had turned to dust.

What a lonely existence the Noah must have.

As if Ellen could hear his thoughts, she reached out and gripped his still hovering hand in her own. She pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles, rubbing her thumb over the same spot. "These are my demons, Paddy. You have enough of your own without letting mine haunt you too."

"You used to go to your Ark a lot more," said Sirius. "Back in the war."

"I thought I was strong enough to handle it back then. All it ever did was break me more," She climbed off of the table and into the chair next to him, cuddling under his arm just as she had that morning. "Is it wrong that I miss them?"

Sirius wasn't sure who 'they' were in this moment in time. There were too many that she'd left behind. "I think we can't control what our heart feels."

"My heart is a dirty traitor."

He pulled her closer. Ellen was shaking under his arm, her face pinched up like she was about to cry yet her eyes remained bone dry. Her face was pressed close against his chest so that she could hear his heart steadily beating. Another strange quirk of hers.

Ellen had explained to them one night that the Noah could hear each other's heartbeats when they were near. It was their call to each other, letting them know that they weren't alone in the universe. They were all the children of Noah with the same blood pumping in their veins. When she would cuddle up next to them on long nights, she would always press her ear to their chests just as she was right then. It made her feel closer to them, like she belonged with the humans around her instead of the family she'd run away from. It was a hollow imitation of what she so desperately craved, but still it brought her comfort.

She had always loved Sirius's heartbeat the most. It reminded her of human friends that were long gone, ones that used to hold her close and promise her that they would survive that awful, wicked war together just as Sirius had promised her in those days.

Ellen rubbed at her tired eyes with a gnarled black fist. She was always so _tired_ after visiting the garden. "Will you carry me up?"

"Just this once," said Sirius as he stood up so she could climb onto his back. He groaned slightly under her weight and tried to shift her to a more comfortable position. "I'm not as young as I used to be, you know."

"Now you sound like Albus." Ellen giggled the entire way up the stairs. Every few feet Sirius stopped and complained more, moving her around as if it would magically make her lighter. She bit her tongue to stop herself from reminding him that he was in fact a wizard and could simply cast a Featherlight charm to make this entire journey easier.

It was nice to have him close to her like this again. During the first war, she'd kept all of them at arm's length for the first couple of weeks that she'd known them. She'd been scared of having the same experience as with her fellow exorcists, but these witches and wizards were different. Sirius especially had seen her for what she was and decided that he didn't care. All he had ever seen whenever he looked at her was a person and that meant more to Ellen than she would ever say to him.

For all the love that she'd had for Remus, her love for Sirius was different. Ellen had never met another person and felt like she could call him brother. She'd thought so many years ago that another could be her sister, but sisters didn't betray each other. Sisters didn't allow one of them to rot in a cell, to have their choices ripped from their hands.

No, Sirius was different.

As he made another joke about how he wasn't going to carry her anymore because he was an old man, Ellen made a decision. She was going to protect her brother this time. Where Neah had failed to keep Mana safe, she would do her best to succeed. After everything that he had been thorough, that was what Sirius deserved.

Her eyes began to droop during the trek down the hallway. His steady footsteps and the sound of his heartbeat echoing in her ear was as good of a lullaby as any she had heard before. Sirius was careful not to jolt her out of her half-awake state when he opened the door to her bedroom. He placed her on the conjured bed gently, ruffling her hair after he pulled up one of the blankets resting at the foot of the bed to cover her. Ellen sleepily smiled at him and snuggled deeper under the soft blanket. She could vaguely hear him telling her that he'd come back to wake her up later before she finally drifted off to sleep.

For once her dreams were kind to her. Ellen dreamed of times long gone, warm arms wrapped around her and laughter filling the air on sunny spring days while her piano played softly in the background. She wasn't sure where she was, but she was happy and safer than she had been in ages. The light of the sun faded through her window and pulled her back to reality.

Someone was banging heavily on her door, their knocking getting more insistent by the moment. Who could it possibly be knocking on her door at this hour? A single glance out of the window revealed the moon high up in the sky, few clouds drifting by it. She rose from her bed slowly with her wand held carefully by her side. Every step that she took seemed to echo throughout the room, drowned out only by the increasingly frantic knocking.

Ellen wrenched open the door at once, startling the man standing before her. Kingsley Shacklebolt lowered his still raised hand and cleared his throat. He at least had the decency to look apologetic as he took in her disheveled state.

"Something," he said, "Has come up."

* * *

**And that's that! Please review and let me know how you're all feeling about the direction the rewrite is going in!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

* * *

Kingsley, the poor man, did not take too much time to explain the situation at hand. It seemed that one of the members of their Advance Guard had been struck with a nasty curse as she was leaving the Leaky Cauldron that afternoon. She had been lucky to have been in such a public area and was quickly rushed to St. Mungo's, but they were now short a guard to transport a certain Potter boy to the house that night.

It was obvious what he was asking before he even had the chance to get the question out. Ellen sighed and motioned for him to enter the room. "Excuse the mess, I'm still unpacking. How are we travelling?"

"By broomstick," said Kingsley. "Apparation would be too tricky with this many people, someone would end up splinching themselves, and Floo leaves a trace. This is the only way to get him here without much notice."

Ellen nodded and walked over to where her handy duffel bag was. She knew that she had a broomstick somewhere in that mess, it was just finding it that was going to be a bit of a challenge. She shoved her arm all the way into the bag, her shoulder brushing against the zipper as she rummaged around trying to feel for the smooth handle of her broomstick. Kingsley watched her with a carefully blank expression, only a slight upturn of the corner of his lips betraying the amusement he had with every muttered curse she let out.

It took a good five minutes before she was finally able to grab onto the end of the broom and pulled it out with a grunt. She almost fell back onto her bottom with the effort that it took to pull the damned thing out of bag. Eventually she was going to have to clean it out, it was becoming a hassle.

Ellen took a deep breath and neatened herself up, turning back to him with a smile. He simply nodded at her and turned to leave the room, Ellen following in his footsteps rather quickly to keep up. They passed the children's room without a second glance though Ellen could practically feel their eyes on the pair through the partially opened door.

There was a small group waiting for them in the foyer, everyone moving quietly as though not to disturb Walburga Black's wretched portrait. Sirius had warned her about it when she first arrived and dealing with that awful woman from beyond the grave was not something that Ellen was looking forward to in the slightest.

Remus was among the group, much to her dread. It wasn't that she didn't want to see him, it was simply that everything was still so _awkward_ between them, even after the incident with the boggart. Still, she forced a cheerful smile on her face. "Are we all ready to go?"

The girl from the meeting, Tonks, smiled back at her. "Ready as we'll ever be."

The takeoff wasn't too complicated. Moody gave them specific instructions to how they were to be positioned for the duration of the flight and how entering Harry's home was actually going to go. Ellen wanted to protest that sneaking into a teenager's house while he was there alone was a good way to get cursed but arguing with Mad-Eye was just asking for a fight.

She ended up flying between Tonks and Moody. It wasn't too bad of a flight at first, the warm summer air creating a pleasant breeze rushing past them. She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her, shaking her head from side to side to enjoy the wind tousling her hair.

Ellen had always loved flying. It was amazing to her. There had been so many times in her life that she'd been jealous of Lenalee for being able to fly with her beautiful Innocence, free to go wherever she pleased. She could have flown away from everything that trapped them in those days but she never did. Ellen wouldn't ever understand that, but she could understand how much the girl had loved flying every time that she found herself atop a broomstick.

Moody made a noise of disapproval beside her, frowning at her display of joy. "This would be much safer if we could use your little castle."

"You know the rules, Alastor," said Ellen. "If I haven't been there, I can't open a gate to it."

He grumbled something unintelligible but luckily didn't push the subject too much. Part of Ellen was relieved that she had never been to the boy's house. Something about having this many people in her Ark made her skin crawl in the most unpleasant way. She'd allowed humans to have free run of her gates once before and she would never do it again.

The majority of the flight was silent. Tonks would occasionally strike up a short conversation from her right, but for the most part they were all focused on remaining in formation and getting to the house as fast as they could. Ellen watched as the ground beneath her whizzed by. When they were still in London, they'd been so high up that all of the lights looked like tiny stars on the ground, but as they got further away from the city, everything was enveloped in darkness. Now all she could see was the occasional streetlights as they passed over smaller towns.

Apparently, it was in one of those smaller towns that Harry lived. Kingsley seemed to have spotted the house and signaled for all of them to begin their descent. The group circled the area a few times on their brooms to make sure that they wouldn't been seen before they quietly landed on one of the manicured lawns in the neighborhood.

Ellen frowned as she looked around the place. As dark as it was, it was still easy to see that everything was so…uniform. Every house was lined up in a neat little row and they all looked nearly identical, not a single trace of originality to be seen. Suburbia was truly an unnerving phenomenon.

It was Kingsley again that led the entrance into the house. It simply took a quick spell and the front door was unlocked. They filed in one after the other, remaining silent as they did so.

The house was dark and quiet when they spread out around the house. Moody and Remus took the upstairs while the others dispersed to different rooms downstairs. Ellen and Tonks carefully moved into the kitchen, a _Lumos_ lit on the tips of their wands.

Ellen had turned to say something to the young witch when she heard a loud crash. She whipped around the see that Tonks had managed to knock a plate off of the counter and break it.

"Damn it, Tonks!" She said, her nerves on high alert now. She paused when she heard movement from upstairs, something light unlike Moody's footsteps.

Without a second thought, she and Tonks quickly moved away from the kitchen and up the stairs where the others had gathered. One of the doors swung open with a loud creak. She raised her wand slowly and began to nudge her way in front of the others to face the boy.

The first thing she noticed about Harry Potter was how skinny he was. His father had always been thin but in a lean muscled sort of way; James had always looked like there was some strength hidden underneath everything. Harry looked almost fragile, like he hadn't been fed properly for weeks. As scrawny as he might appear though, the boy immediately lifted his wand the moment he laid eyes on them, his body language tense and guarded.

"Lower your wand, boy, you'll take someone's eye out," said Moody in a low, growling voice. She glared over at him for the unnecessarily gruff tone of voice.

The boy lowered his wand and called out in a small voice. "Professor Moody?"

"I don't know so much about 'Professor,'" said Moody, "never did much teaching. Get down here."

"Stop it Mad-Eye, you're going to scare him." said Ellen. "We're getting you out of here."

Remus quickly shouldered his way to the front of the group, placing his hand on Ellen's shoulder and pulling her pack to make eye contact with Harry. Harry's face lit up in recognition. "Professor Lupin? You're here?"

He nodded and reached his hand out towards Harry, motioning for him to follow. Ellen quickly lit her wand back up with _Lumos_, the bright light almost blinding the poor boy as it suddenly filled the hallway. He approached slowly as Remus shifted his hand from Ellen's shoulder to his, guiding him through the group.

Ellen couldn't help but feel bad for the poor boy. Everyone in the Advance Guard was staring at Harry as if he was going to be something magnificent instead of the teenage boy that he was. Tonks and Kingsley were openly discussing the boy's appearance though they did have the social grace to keep their voices to a quiet murmur.

They were right though. Ellen couldn't help but stare at him too. It was like seeing a ghost; Harry had the same face as James, the same messy hair, hell, he even walked the same way as her long departed friend did. But he had Lily's eyes. Beautiful, bright green eyes that betrayed every single emotion that he was feeling. It was as if she'd been punched in the gut. Only yesterday he'd been a baby, surrounded by the ones that loved him. Now he was grown and in this awful place with its carefully mowed lawns and identical cars. This wasn't how he was supposed to be. Harry was meant to grow up with his parents, surrounded by all of the magic and wonder in the world. Anything but what he had been given.

Moody was interrogating him again, ever the paranoid man that he was. She stifled a laugh at Remus's expression when the man quickly dismissed his concerns of Harry being an impostor with a single question. A stag patronus though? He really must be like his father.

Moody relaxed somewhat, allowing Harry to pass him and make his way down the stairs. Ellen watched him slide his wand in the back pocket of his jeans and winced.

"Don't put your wand there, boy!" Moody roared. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"

"Who do you know who's lost a buttock?" Tonks eyed him, forcing Ellen to hold back a fit of giggles.

"Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!" growled Mad-Eye. "Elementary wand safety, nobody bothers about it anymore, using any which place to store them." His eye swiveled to Ellen, whom he had scolded for keeping her wand in her boots at least a hundred times.

Ellen followed Moody as he limped into the kitchen, giggling when he called Tonks out for rolling her eyes. She paused in the doorway, looking back to see Harry and Remus speaking quietly. Lupin held out his hand and shook Harry's and they walked over to the kitchen.

"We're lucky the Dursleys aren't here…" said Harry, still messing with his wand in his back pocket.

"Lucky, ha!" said Tonks. "I'm the one that sent them that letter. They think they're off to win some lawn award right now."

Ellen watched a brief bit of amusement flit across Harry's face before he turned back to Remus. "We are leaving, aren't we?" he asked. "Soon?"

"Almost at once," Remus reassured him, "we're just waiting for the signal to know that it's safe."

"Where are we going? The Burrow?" Harry's voice was so full of hope that it made her heart hurt for the boy.

"Not the Burrow, no. It's too risky. We've set up headquarters somewhere undetectable. It's taken a while, but it's ready"

Remus pulled Harry closer and started to gesture to the members of the Advance Guard as they poked and prodded around the room. It was as if some of them had never been in a Muggle home and everything that they laid eyes on was simply fascinating. Ellen stayed quiet through all of it, choosing to watch Harry instead. He was still guarded but seemed to be relaxing more and more with Remus by his side. She had to remind herself that he was more familiar with the man, Molly had told her about his year long tenure teaching at Hogwarts. Of course Harry would gravitate towards him.

"And this," he said gesturing towards Ellen, "is Ellen Walker. She's your godmother." The last part was spoken quietly, intended for only Harry's ears.

The boy's eyes widened and he stared at Ellen like she was something completely foreign. Though, she supposed that no one had ever told Harry about her. He hadn't known about Sirius until that whole deal with escaping Azkaban; it made sense that no one would have mentioned his godmother that disappeared into the wind before the war was even over. She smiled shyly and waved, unsure of what else to do.

"Still waiting for that signal," said Remus, glancing out of the kitchen window. "I reckon we have about fifteen minutes."

"How're we getting, wherever we're going?" Harry asked quietly.

"Brooms," Remus said. "Only way. You're too young to Apparate, they'll be watching the Floo Network, and it's more than our life's worth to set up an unauthorized Portkey."

"And some witches refuse to use their resources." Moody said, earning a warning "_Mad-Eye"_ from Ellen.

"Remus says you're a good flier," Kingsley said, still watching the boy intently.

"He's excellent," Remus replied, checking his watch. "Anyway, you'd better go and get packed, Harry, we want to be ready to go when the signal comes."

"I'll come and help you," said Tonks, her bright hair bouncing with the force of her enthusiasm. The pair exited the room and turned up the stairs. As soon as their footsteps had faded, Ellen slumped into a chair across from Moody, staring up at Remus as if he were her only lifeline.

She rubbed her hands across her face and into her short hair. "He looks so small. Were Lily and James ever _that_ small?"

Remus crossed the room to stand next to her and caressed her shoulder gently. "He's had a hard life."

Exhaustion set in as she sat there, watching the other witches and wizards tinker with the Muggle technology that was in the kitchen. Remus had taken the seat next to her and in his infinite kindness, said not a word when she leaned on him for support. He merely held her hand in his and let her cling to him. Faintly, she realized how much this must be hurting him. Poor, kind Remus who never believed that he deserved happiness in the world yet offered so much without asking for anything in return.

Fifteen minutes must have passed before Harry and Tonks came back down the stairs, an owl cage in Tonks' hand and a trunk trailing behind them. The boy had an expensive looking broomstick clutched in his hand, making Ellen's heart squeeze with emotion. Harry must love the sport as much as his father had.

"Excellent," he said, looking up at the two of them. "We've got a minute or so, we should head out to the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry-"

"They won't," said Harry.

"That you're safe-"

"That'll just depress them."

"-and you'll see them next summer."

"Do I have to?"

Remus smiled in response but gave no answer. Ellen was frowning at the exchange. Were his guardians really so terrible for him to feel like they wouldn't care about his well-being? She'd had the misfortune of meeting Petunia Evans once before, but the woman had only seemed uptight, not cruel.

"Come here, boy," said Moody gruffly, beckoning Harry toward him with his wand. "I've got to Disillusion you."

"You need to what?" Harry's eyebrows shot up.

"Disillusionment Charm," Moody said, raising his wand. He started to form the charm, a small frown of concentration on his face "Lupin says you've got an Invisibility Cloak but that's not going to stay on in the air; this'll disguise you better. Here you go–!"

"Nice one, Mad-Eye," Tonks whistled, examining Harry. Ellen had to agree; it was an excellent charm. The boy looked like he had taken on the color and texture of the background, appearing very well hidden.

"Come on," Moody growled, unlocking the back door with his wand. They all stepped outside onto the somewhat impressive green lawn.

"Clear night," grunted Moody, his magical eye scanning the heavens. "Would have been better with some clouds for cover. Right, you," he barked at Harry, "we're going to be flying in close formation. Tonks will be right in front of you, keep close on her tail. Walker will be covering you from below. I'm going to be behind you. The rest will be circling us. We don't break ranks for anything, got me? If one of us is killed —"

"Is that likely?" Harry asked apprehensively, but Moody ignored him. From behind Moody, Ellen shook her head in an attempt to relieve the boy's worries. Harry relaxed some at that, if only a little.

"— the others keep flying, don't stop, don't break ranks. If they take out all of us and you survive, Harry, the rear guard are standing by to take over; keep flying east and they'll join you."

"Stop being so cheerful, Mad-Eye, he'll think we're not taking this seriously," Tonks said, strapping Harry's belongings into the harness she had hanging from her broom.

"I'm just telling the boy the plan," growled Moody. "Our job is to deliver him safely to headquarters and if we die in the attempt —"

"For God's sake, Mad-Eye, none of us are going to die," said Ellen. "Scaring him isn't going to help."

"Mount your brooms, that's the first signal!" Remus called, pointing towards the shower of red sparks that flared. They all swung a leg over their brooms and gripped the handles tightly. Harry looked excited just to be on a broom.

"Second signal, let's go!" said Remus loudly as more sparks, green this time, exploded high above them.

They kicked off hard from the ground, soaring into the cool night air. Ellen tossed her head again, still enjoying the sensation of flying. From the looks of it, Harry was just as happy as she was to be in the air. She drifted beneath him, glancing all around for other witches or wizards that might be in the air. Considering where they were, she doubted it but Moody's paranoia had an odd way of getting to her.

"Hard left, hard left, there's a Muggle looking up!" shouted Moody from above. They all swerved sharply, Ellen wincing at the way Harry's belongings swung in the air. "We need more height. Give it another quarter of a mile!"

Their eyes were starting to water from the cold, their cheeks bright pink from the wind constantly whipping at their faces. It had only grown colder in the time that it had taken to get Harry and Ellen felt like her hands might end up frozen right to her broomstick if they had to fly for too much longer.

"Bear southeast and keep climbing, there's some low cloud ahead we can lose ourselves in!" called Moody.

"We're not going through clouds, are you crazy?" Ellen screeched at him. "We'll freeze to our brooms!"

They altered their course every now and then according to Moody's instructions. It was quiet, only the sound of the wind whistling filling their ears. They flew for what must have been over an hour in complete silence.

As they got closer to their destination, the guard began to swoop around more, shifting who was next to Harry at all times. Each one had their wands out and were watching for anyone who might be laying in wait.

"We ought to double back for a bit, just to make sure we're not being followed!" Moody shouted.

"ARE YOU MAD, MAD-EYE?" Tonks screamed from the front. "We won't get there until next week if we keep circling back. We're almost there!"

"Time to start the descent!" Remus shouted above the wind. They fell into a dive, heading straight for the city. The tiny lights in the distance that had once looked like stars started to grow closer and closer until they could start to see the individual headlights and streetlights in London.

"Here we go!" called Tonks, and a few seconds later they had landed in a patch of grass in a small square.

"Where are we?" Harry asked Remus, getting a quick, "In a minute."

Ellen could see Moody fumbling in his pockets for Albus's Put-Outer. He finally found it and clicked it in the air with confidence. The nearest streetlamp went out with a pop; he clicked it again and the next lamp went out. He kept on with his clicking until the only lights that shone were those inside houses.

"Borrowed it from Dumbledore." Moody grunted at Harry as an explanation. He took the boy by the arm and led him from the patch of grass, across the road, and onto the pavement. Remus and Tonks followed, carrying Harry's trunk between them, the rest of the guard, all with their wands out, flanking them.

They could hear the sounds of the city all around them. Someone in the house closest to them was blasting music, the muffled sound reaching them in the street. The air was filled with the repulsive smell of garbage that seemed to linger in every large city Ellen had ever been to. They could even hear a young girl singing to herself from within a house close by.

"Here," Moody muttered, thrusting a familiar piece of parchment toward Harry's Disillusioned hand and holding his lit wand close to it, so as to illuminate the writing.

"Read quickly and memorize."

She watched Harry read it and look up in amazement as Grimmauld Place revealed itself to him. The boy gaped and she could hear him begin to say something when Moody hurried him up to the door saying whatever it was could wait until they were safe.

Remus knocked on the door and ushered them all in once it was open, Kingsley lingering outside to return the lights from the Put-Outer. She squinted in the dark and groped around the find the way to turn the gas lamps on. Remus reached over her head and turned the knob with a click, illuminating the place in dull light. Harry looked somewhat skeptical as he observed the place and she couldn't resist teasing him. "You should have seen it before they let me have a crack at it. Cobwebs. Everywhere."

He looked blankly at her before cracking a hesitant smile. There was the sound of hurried footsteps as Molly rushed into the room, embracing the boy like he was one of her own. She squeezed him tightly, murmuring something about getting him fed as soon as possible.

She turned to the others and whispered urgently. "Meeting's about to start, _he's_ just arrived."

Ellen's eyes widened and she stared at Molly in disbelief. Albus had told her about the spy he'd obtained towards the end of the war, but the man was still involved? She'd been unlucky enough to meet him once, right before she disappeared, and the man had been nothing short of unpleasant. The others rushed to the back of the house towards the kitchen, only Ellen and Remus hesitating. After a second, they went to follow, Harry right behind them.

She heard Molly hold Harry back and explain that he couldn't sit in on the meeting but she would show him to his room. The sound of their footsteps going up the stairs filled her ears, getting fainter as they walked away.

* * *

The kitchen was loud and full of Order members. They had all filled in the various seats of the table and were chatting with each other. Ellen quickly grabbed the seat next to Sirius, glaring at the darkly dressed wizard at the other end of the table.

Severus Snape was not someone that was welcome, in Ellen's opinion. Even as useful as his position as a spy had been, she just didn't like him. Something about him never sat right with her, and she had always suspected he wasn't as loyal to the Order as he should be, despite the fact that Albus himself had advocated for the former Death Eater.

Said man sneered at her when their eyes met. "I see Dumbledore's favorite…_pet_ has shown her face." He drawled out.

Ellen scowled back at him. She wished for nothing more than to grab her wand from inside her boot and hex him until he was nearly unrecognizable. Before she had a chance to even say anything back to him Albus arrived, a hush falling over the room. He sat himself at the head of the table and began to speak.

"I am glad to see that young Mr. Potter is here safe and sound." His blue eyes twinkled. As the man continued to inform them of the recent happenings concerning Potter's trial and the activity of Voldemort, Ellen's sharp hearing picked up the sound of yelling from upstairs.

She frowned and focused, trying her best to understand what was being said. It sounded like Harry's voice and he was certainly angry about something. Just as she was beginning to comprehend the conversation, it stopped in a dead halt.

Ellen jerked back to reality, doing her best to focus in the meeting. It seemed they had been discussing everyone's individual tasks and Albus was staring at her expectantly.

"Er, sorry," she said. "I missed that."

"Quite alright Ellen," Albus smiled gently at her. "We were simply wondering if you would be up to a more hands-on type of assignment."

She grinned wolfishly, leaning forward. "I'd love to. It's been a while since I got to take on some Death Eaters."

Albus shook his head. "I was thinking more along the lines of protection. You see, as safe as Hogwarts is, Voldemort was still able to have Harry Potter kidnapped last year. We as professors and educators can only keep an eye on Harry when he is around us and it saddens me to say that he does not fully trust us. However," His damn eye twinkled again. "You are physically the same age as he is. Someone like you could attend Hogwarts and get close to Harry. You could be someone he can trust."

"You want me to go to school?" said Ellen, her eyes wide. "No. No, no, no, no, _no_! Albus, I can't just walk into your school and start going to classes. The Ministry doesn't even recognize me as a Being!"

He pulled out a bright blue pamphlet, images flitting across the cover. "That is why you, Ellen Walker, are the first recipient of the Creature Outreach Program scholarship."

She snatched the pamphlet and read it through quickly. It was a load of hogwash. The booklet claimed that the purpose was to integrate Beasts that were on the edge of Being status into wizarding society. C.O.P. would pay in full all for all supplies and tuition needed to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It would go to any qualified Beast of school age, no matter how late they started. Ellen felt her eye wanting to twitch at being referred to as a Beast. She gently set the pamphlet down and looked at Albus.

"What did it take for you to pull _this_ off?" She leaned back in her chair. "The Ministry has never cared about anyone but wizards and now you want me to believe that they've changed their minds all on their own?"

"It took some of the last few favors I had within the Wizengamot," said Albus. "But it was for the greater good of Mr. Potter."

The Noah grit her teeth and glared before finally relenting. "Fine. I'll go to your school and I'll keep an eye on Harry. But this is for his safety, not for you."

The whole table was shocked into silence at the way she spoke to Dumbledore. No one spoke to him like that, especially not her. Back in the first war, Ellen had always been the first to defend any decision that he made and back any plan because she truly believed that he knew what was best. But this was different. Albus was her friend, he'd been there for her when the Ministry had snatched away Being classification from the Noah and he _knew_ how much it had hurt her to this day. This plan with its pamphlets and government approval felt like a slap in the face after all she had been through with him.

Albus leaned back, looking much older than he was. The meeting continued smoothly after that, adjourning within fifteen minutes. Ellen remained stubbornly at the table, ignoring Arthur and Bill's quiet conversation and Mundungus's obnoxious snoring. Albus touched her shoulder gently as he went to leave, but she just shook his hand off.

"I'm not a Beast, Albus," Ellen murmured quietly. "I thought you of all people would acknowledge that."

The elderly wizard let out a small sigh, so small that she barely heard it, before continuing out of the meeting. Ellen sat there for a few minutes, lost in her thoughts until a loud screeching startled her.

_"Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, begone from this place How dare you befoul the house of my fathers—"_

She rolled her eyes and stormed out of the kitchen, her wand ready to blast the damn painting off the wall. Remus and Molly were desperately trying to pull the curtains in front of it shut but they weren't budging. Walburga Black's painted face turned red and her eyes bulged when she laid eyes on Ellen. _"Disgusting, nasty little beast! Defiling the home of true wizards, leave!"_

Ellen gripped her wand and snarled. "I should destroy the very wall you sit on, you miserable old bitch!"

The portrait screeched again and Sirius came running out, yelling back at the thing. With a great amount of effort he, Ellen, and Remus were finally able to tug the curtains closed and the screaming faded away.

Sirius turned to Harry with a grim smile. "Hello, Harry. I see you've met my mother."

* * *

**chapter three! again, let me know how you're feeling so far! review :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

* * *

Sirius pulled Harry aside after that dramatic entrance, speaking to him in hushed tones. They had a lot to catch up on, Ellen supposed. A whole summer was a long time to be away from one that you loved and even more so when you were trapped without a safe way to reach him. Sirius must have felt rather helpless throughout the entire process.

The others were standing at the foot of the stairs, having come down with Harry. They might not completely trust her yet, but it was worth a try anyways. Ellen turned to the pair and spoke quietly. "I heard yelling earlier. Are you alright?"

"Harry was upset that we had kept all this from him," said Hermione, walking next to Ellen as she led them to the kitchen so that Harry and Sirius might have some semblance of privacy. "We haven't been able to say anything, Dumbledore made us swear not to."

"No need to explain yourselves, I know better than anyone how Albus can be."

The kitchen was certainly a sight to behold. That awful ratty fellow, Mundungus, had certainly made himself at home, puffing away on his pipe without a care in the world while Arthur and who she believed to be the oldest of the Weasley brood were talking at the end of the table, their heads nearly pressed together with how close they were sitting to each other. Molly was turning a rather interesting shade of red, almost purple in her anger.

She'd pop a blood vessel if she didn't relax, Ellen thought idly.

"Would you _please_ not smoke that thing in the kitchen, especially not when we're about to eat!" The scruffy man grumbled but put out the pipe, the smell of bitter tobacco smoke still lingering in the air. "If you want dinner before midnight, I'll need a few helping hands." Molly said, gesturing towards the counter.

Ginny and Tonks, despite Molly's protests about the latter's help, began pulling out cutlery and the like. Hermione went to help them and began setting dishes on the table. Soon a series of heavy knives were chopping meat and vegetables of their own accord, supervised by Ellen. She and Molly were standing next to each other idly discussing the different techniques for the charm. Molly had always been a fan of the more traditional ways of doing things. She'd learned her ways from her mother who'd learned from her mother and so on. Ellen still carried the rather simple tricks that she'd learned in her days with the Black Order. They'd been willing to teach their exorcists enough magic to help them survive out on missions, but any more than that had been frowned upon. (She wondered, what would they say if they could see Ellen now?)

She was so enthralled in her conversation that she almost missed Harry and Sirius finally entering the kitchen together. They settled at a spot on the large table away from everyone else, intent on continuing their conversation. She did her best to catch Sirius's eye but it was impossible to pull him away from his godson at that moment.

The air in the kitchen grew lively as she managed to pull herself away from Molly and the cooking. All of the children had made their way down into the room, the smell of food wafting up the stairs to lure them down. Ellen cautiously approached Sirius and Harry, quietly pulling up a chair across from them.

Sirius continued to speak as if she wasn't there, his tone surprisingly bitter. "...his snide comments about how he's actually out there while I hide away here, asking me how the cleaning's going–"

"What cleaning?" asked Harry.

"This place was barely fit for human habitation when we got here," Sirius vaguely waved his hand. "No one's lived here for ten years, not since my dear mother died, unless you count her old house-elf, and he's mad as can be. I don't think he's cleaned anything in ages!"

"It really is a mess," said Ellen, leaning into the conversation. "I feel bad for you lot having to clean all of it without any magic."

Sirius made a childish face at her, laughing loudly when she stuck her tongue out at him in return. The small display seemed to make Harry relax a little more around her and he gave her a small smile from across the table at her. Something warmed in her chest at that, the happy feeling spreading all the way to the tips of her fingers. He was already much more comfortable here than he had been at that awful house out in Surrey. Ellen would have snatched him away from there herself if she'd known what kind of place Albus had left him in.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she barely noticed Remus coming down, not until he settled into the seat next to her. His hand rested on the table right by hers, their fingers just barely brushing together. Ellen steeled herself and moved her hand to grip his in an old, familiar way, smiling up softly at him when he squeezed back.

Remus opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by Molly's shrieking. "Fred — George — NO, JUST CARRY THEM!"

The ones sitting there looked around and, a split second later, dived away from the table. Fred and George had bewitched a large cauldron of stew, an iron flagon of butterbeer, and a heavy wooden breadboard, complete with knife, to hurtle through the air toward them.

The stew skidded the length of the table and came to a halt just before the end, leaving a long black burn on the wooden surface, the butterbeer fell with a crash, spilling its contents everywhere, and the bread knife slipped off the board and landed, point down and quivering ominously, exactly where Sirius's right hand had been seconds before.

"Never did like that table," said Ellen, completely ignored as Molly yelled at her sons.

"FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!" screamed Molly. "THERE WAS NO NEED- I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS- JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE ALLOWED TO USE MAGIC NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO WHIP YOUR WANDS OUT FOR EVERY TINY LITTLE THING!"

"We were just trying to save a bit of time!" said Fred, hurrying forward and wrenching the bread knife out of the table. "Sorry Sirius, mate – didn't mean to–"

Harry, Sirius, and Ellen were roaring with laughter, Mundungus had actually fallen out of his chair. Remus looked properly flustered while Molly continued to scream at the twins, comparing them to their brothers before stopping cold in her tracks. She stiffened and looked as if she was holding back tears for a moment.

"Why don't we go ahead and eat?" Remus gently suggested. They all quietly sat down and for a few minutes there was no sound but the scraping of forks on their plates and chairs being pulled out as everyone finally settled down.

Then Molly turned to Sirius and spoke, "I've been meaning to tell you, there's something trapped in that old wardrobe in the sitting room upstairs, I've seen it rattling and shaking. Of course, it could just be a boggart, but I thought we ought to ask Alastor to have a look at it before we let it out."

All of those who had been present for the boggart incident stiffened, no one saying anything. "It's a bit of a nasty boggart," said Ellen. "I've already run into it, Remus told Mad-Eye about it this morning."

There was an awkward silence, Harry looking confused at the atmosphere. "Well, we'll need to tackle the curtains tomorrow. We've been working hard at it, but there is still an awful infestation of doxies in them." Molly sniffed.

The group all grimaced but agreed before turning back to their conversations. Tonks was the star of the show that night, transforming her nose into all kinds of fun and different shapes much to the amusement of the girls sitting by her. Even Ellen couldn't resist a giggle every now and then. Metamorphmagus magic was just so much _fun_. As it seemed he always was, Mundungus was telling tales about some kind of illegal activity that he was involved in, much to Molly's ever growing chagrin. The set of shrieking that she set out from that topic was nothing short of piercingly loud. The woman had a set of lungs on her, Ellen had to give her that.

At one point Sirius leaned back in his chair and eyed Harry. "You know, I'm surprised. I thought the first thing you'd do when you got here would be to start asking questions about Voldemort."

"I did!" Harry spat out. "I asked Ron and Hermione but they said we're not allowed in the Order, so–"

"And they're right," Molly replied with a shake of her head. "You're all too young to be involved in this."

"Since when did he have to be in the Order to ask questions?" asked Sirius.

"Hang on!" One of the twins interrupted loudly.

"Why does Harry get his questions answered?" The other one said angrily.

"We've been trying to get something out of you for a month and you haven't told us a single thing!"

" _'You're too young, you're not in the Order,'_ " The first twin imitated his mother. "Harry's not even of age!"

"That choice is up to your parents," said Sirius calmly. "But Harry–"

"You don't get to decide what is right for Harry!" Molly said sharply. Her face was a bright pink and she looked angrier than Ellen had seen in years. "You haven't forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?"

"Which bit?" Sirius's voice was deceptively polite. Ellen groaned and let her head onto Remus's shoulder with a soft thud. The man shook his head and gently ran his thumb across the back of her hand.

"The bit about not telling Harry more than he _needs to know_,"

"I don't plan on telling him more than he needs to know," Sirius snapped back. "But it was Harry that saw Voldemort come back, he deserves to have some answers!"

"Harry is still not a member of the Order of the Phoenix! He's only fifteen and–"

"And he's dealt with as much as most in the Order," Their voices were rising steadily, "and more than some–"

"No one's denying what he's gone through, what he's had to do" Molly's hands were trembling in anger "But he's still–"

"He's not a child!" Sirius bit out, looking very much dangerous in that moment.

"He's not an adult either! He's not James, Sirius!" The room went deathly silent. Ellen lifted her head up and slowly clenched her fists.

"I'm perfectly aware of who he is, thanks, Molly," said Sirius coldly.

"I'm not sure you are!"

Ellen slammed her hands down on the table. The force of her palms hitting the old wood was loud enough to silence the rest of the room. She slowly clenched her fists, reveling in the way her talons scratched ominously in the quiet of the room. "That's enough! Molly, the boy's life is at stake here. Would you rather him hear the truth from us or some half-baked gossip from someone else?"

"Well," Molly looked around and found no support, "well, I can see I'm alone here. Dumbledore must have his reasons for why he hasn't told Harry, I only have his best interests at heart–"

"I will deal with Albus! Harry needs to know these things!" Ellen snapped. "He's not your son, you don't get to make these decisions for him!"

"He's as good as!" Molly's tone was biting and sarcastic. "Who else does he have? Sirius? It must have been tricky for him to look after Harry with all those years he was locked up in Azkaban. You don't get to show up here after fifteen years and start–"

"I think Harry should have some say in this," Remus interrupted her. "He's old enough to decide for himself."

"I want to know what's been going on," Harry said at once, avoiding Molly's gaze.

"Very well," said Molly, her voice cracking. "The rest of you, I want you out of this kitchen, now."

Instantly the kitchen exploded with protests and yelling. Molly and her children screamed back and forth and it ended with only Ginny being forced to leave. She marched the girl upstairs, Ginny raging and storming the entire way there. The noise triggered Walburga's portrait again and Remus was forced to run out to close the curtains.

It was only after he had returned, closing the kitchen door behind him and taking his seat at the table again, that anyone dared to say a word.

"Alright then Harry, what do you want to know?" Sirius tried to smile in a comforting way.

"Where's Voldemort? What's he doing? I've been trying to watch the Muggle news," Harry said, seeming to ignore the way that people winced at the name, "and there hasn't been anything that looks like him yet, no funny deaths or anything–"

"There haven't been any yet, that's why," said Sirius, "not as far as we know, anyway…And we know quite a lot."

"Much more than he thinks we do," said Remus.

"Why's he's stopped killing people?"

"Because he doesn't want to draw attention to himself right now," said Sirius. "It would be dangerous for him. You messed up his comeback by surviving in that graveyard. Nobody except his Death Eaters were supposed to know he'd returned, but you lived to tell the tale."

"The last person he wanted to know of his return was Dumbledore," Remus added. "And you made sure Dumbledore knew at once."

"Thanks to you, Dumbledore was able to start recalling the Order of the Phoenix within an hour of Voldemort returning."

"So what's the Order been doing?" asked Harry, looking around at them all.

"We've been making sure that whatever Voldemort is planning won't happen." Ellen finally spoke up, staring straight into Harry's eyes.

"How do you know what his plans are?" Harry asked quickly.

"Albus has a pretty good idea, and his ideas are right more than they're wrong."

"So what does Dumbledore reckon he's planning?"

"He wants to build up his army again," said Sirius. "In the old days he had huge numbers at his command; witches and wizards he'd bullied or spelled into following him, his faithful Death Eaters, a great variety of Dark creatures. He's trying to recruit the giants now, but they're only one group that he'll go after. He's not going to try and take on the Ministry of Magic with only a dozen Death Eaters at his back."

"So you're trying to stop him getting more followers?"

"We're doing our best," said Remus. "But the Ministry is working against us in every way that they can."

"But why?" Harry's voice was desperate. "If Dumbledore–"

"Dumbledore's the problem," Tonks added. "They've dragged his name through the mud at the Ministry. Fudge is convinced that Dumbledore wants his job, so he's making sure that he doesn't seem creditable."

"But you're telling people, aren't you?" said Harry, looking around the room. "You're letting people know he's back?"

Ellen smiled bitterly. "Sirius is a wanted criminal, Remus is a werewolf, and we can't have people losing their jobs in the Ministry for speaking the truth. We're doing all that we can, Harry."

"And who are you?" Harry asked. "Professor Lupin said you're my godmother, but..."

"My name's Ellen, I'm a Noah," she said, "James and Lily were my friends. I miss them dearly." She took his appearance in with sad eyes, the baggy clothes and his small frame making her heart ache. "I can remember when you were just a few months old. You were so small then, now look at you, so grown up."

Harry opened his mouth to reply when Molly interrupted him. "Enough of that. You all need to get to bed. You've given Harry enough information and you can tell him stories any time Ellen."

* * *

Molly accompanied the lot of them up the stairs, her eyes carefully watching as Ellen closed the door behind her. Ellen held her breath for a few moments until she heard the tell-tale sounds of the floorboards squeaking as the woman finally made her way downstairs. She poked her head out of the door, peering outside into the hallway. It was empty as she crept out towards the room Harry and Ron were sleeping in, her footsteps light as to not make the same noise Molly had on her way down.

She knocked on the door softly, the door swinging open a few moments later. Harry stared back at her; his eyes slightly narrowed as his grip on the door frame tightened. "I thought you might want to continue our conversation from earlier. Maybe somewhere more private?"

Harry glanced back at Ron before nodding, stepping out into the hall with her. She raised a finger to her lips as the pair of them crept down to her room, the floorboards creaking ominously every couple of steps. Ellen shut the door behind them with a sigh.

He didn't look comfortable in her room. His shoulders were tense and Ellen could see his right hand twitch every so often as if he was resisting the urge to pull his wand out. She motioned to one of the faded chairs that had been left in the room, settling down in one herself. Harry sat down slowly, reminding her of a trapped animal. One false move and he would run, never to be seen again.

He took a deep breath and finally met her eyes. "You knew my parents?"

"I did," said Ellen, "I met them when I first joined the Order before you were born."

"I've never heard of you though."

"I suppose you wouldn't have. I disappeared before the war was over. Those who didn't know where I was just assumed I had been killed by some Death Eater along the way. No real reason to mention a cowardly dead girl."

Harry's eyes narrowed at that. "What do you mean, you left?"

"That I left," said Ellen, "After…after what happened to Alice and Frank Longbottom, I couldn't watch the same happen to the people I cared about. I thought they would be better off if I wasn't around putting another target on their backs. I thought that I could protect them well enough from afar but…I couldn't. I'm sorry, Harry."

"How could you just leave them like that?" said Harry, his fists clenched. "If they were your friends, how could you do that?"

"Because I'm very old, Harry. I've lived hundreds of years and I've watched my friends die before," said Ellen quietly. "And that's the only way I can remember them now. I don't remember the laughter or the joy. All I see are their broken, lifeless bodies. I didn't want Lily and James to be remembered that way." Her voice broke at her next words. "I wanted to do better for you. When I heard the news, I begged Albus to let me take you instead. There are places that I can go, places that no one else can reach, you would have been safe with me. But he insisted that Lily's sister would be what was best for you and I believed him."

"You would have raised me." It wasn't a question. His voice was flat, almost as if he didn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth."

"Of course I would have, Harry. I was there when you were born, I saw you every day until I left. Even if it would have changed everything in my life, I was willing to give all that up for you and I still am, if you'd like me to be in your life."

"I…I don't know."

"You don't have to right now," said Ellen, hesitantly reaching out to grab his hand in hers. "I made a mistake when I left you there and I'll spend every moment making it up to you if you'll allow me the chance. I won't force you to make a decision now. Just know that when you're ready, I'll be here."

Silence enveloped the room once more but it was a lighter feeling. Harry had relaxed throughout the course of their conversation, his muscles not so tight and ready to flee at a moment's notice. She rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand in the same way Lily had done to her when she was worried. It had always soothed her thoughts, banishing the demons that haunted her if but for a moment. Hopefully it would do the same for Harry.

Ellen pulled away from him, slowly rising from her chair. He watched her as she walked over to where her bag was sitting. She reached into one of the outside pockets, pulling out a well worn wooden box and handing it to Harry. "I have something that I meant to give to your father years ago. I've held onto it for all this time hoping that I'd have the chance to give it to you."

The box didn't make a single sound as he opened it, the hinges well-oiled despite its worn appearance. A strange looking ring sat in the middle of it. It was wider than most rings he had seen with an odd pattern of lines and dots all over it. Harry ran his finger over the band, feeling the strange texture as he did. There was a weird feel to the ring completely unrelated to its unusual design. It was as if Harry could feel it pulsing with every breath he took. Something about it felt alive.

"What is it?" asked Harry.

"It's a key of sorts," said Ellen, "I gave them to Sirius and Remus back during the war, I meant to give your parents and Peter one as well but there wasn't time."

"Will it take me somewhere?"

"Tell me Harry, have you heard of Noah's Ark?"

He frowned, still rolling the ring between his fingers. "Isn't that from the story about loading all the animals onto a boat because God was flooding the world? Two of each kind."

"Something like that," she laughed. "It isn't a boat, more like a city really. After the Great Flood, it was where all of humanity grew from Noah and his children. All of my clan was birthed there. We were Noah's pride, his wrath, his dreams, and destruction. In a way, all of the people on this earth are the children of Noah just as I am. You just don't know it yet."

"You're telling me this ring will take me there?" said Harry.

"It will. I was blessed with the gift of controlling the Ark. That ring is one of three keys that exist in this world, when you need it the most it will take you to the Fourteenth's room on the Ark. It's the safest place you could be. No one can reach you there, not if I don't allow it." Ellen ran her fingers through her hair, the short brown strands falling away from her face with the motion. "You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. I just thought, well, I know there isn't much you have left from your parents. I would have done anything to have a piece of my father with me at your age. It was meant for James. Maybe it can protect you as he did."

Harry swallowed thickly. He was still rolling the ring between his fingers, the odd texture keeping his mind from floating away from his body. It was hard to understand all of this. All of those years, there had been another person that had been kept from him. Someone that loved him. Part of him was angry, angry at Ellen for leaving and never saying a word to him, at all of his professors for keeping her from him, at Sirius and Professor Lupin for never mentioning this strange girl that had loved his parents so much.

He glanced up at her. There was something off about the way Ellen looked, he'd noticed it since the moment he laid eyes on here. Her skin was a shade too pale, the color of her eyes a bit too bright to be natural. There was something about the way she fit in the world around her, as if she was half a beat behind the rest of the them. It was unsettling. Maybe that was what Noah were just like.

"I'd like to keep it," said Harry, his voice shaking ever so slightly. "Like you said, it was my dad's."

Ellen smiled softly at him. "James would have wanted you to have it. He loved you so much Harry, he and Lily both. You were their whole world."

"Tell me more about them." The words fell from his lips before he could stop them. "How did you meet?"

"It was the first Order meeting that I attended. Albus had asked me to help as a favor and I was so nervous about being around so many strangers. When the meeting was over, James snuck up behind me with that god-awful cloak of his and scared me," said Ellen. "Lily was furious with him for it too. She fussed him in front of the whole Order for pranking the new girl. She took me under her wing after that. They all did. Your parents were such kind people, they never made me feel like I was something different. They always treated me like a human being."

"I have his cloak now."

"Good, he wanted it to be yours one day. He and Sirius would spend hours talking about what your years at Hogwarts would be like. Quidditch, the invisibility cloak, the whole deal. They wanted so much for you."

Ellen blinked hard, grief taking hold of her heart and squeezing with all its might. Her eyes stung with tears that begged to fall but could not. She shook her head, forcing those thoughts away. Her friends were dead and gone. Their son was all that was left of them in this world and it was up to her to protect him.

"Come on, we don't want Molly to notice that you aren't in bed," she said, rising from her seat. "The ring, it's yours now. Take care of it."

She led him to the door with a soft touch on his arm. Harry was quiet the whole way, the ring still loosely clutched between his fingers. They paused in the doorway and met eyes. "I meant what I said, Harry. You can come to me at any time and I'm here for you."

"Thank you," He murmured, stepping out into the hall.

Ellen watched him as he crept back down to he and Ron's room, cringing every time that the floorboards creaked underneath his weight. It wasn't until he was safe in his room with the door shut that she felt secure enough to step away from the door frame, her own door swinging shut behind her.

She was alone once more in a big, empty room in a house that had brought her best friend nothing but misery. If anyone had asked her fifteen years ago if this was where she saw herself, she'd have laughed in their faces. There was something that kept calling her back to the wizarding world. From the moment that she'd met Albus Dumbledore, her path had been forever intertwined with the fate of this world whether she liked it or not.

Perhaps this was where she was meant to be though. There was a reason that Noah had chosen her to hold his precious Fourteenth's memory, the very destruction of Noah. In her youth, she'd seen herself as a destroyer that saved, even when it felt like everything she touched fell to dust beneath her fingertips. Perhaps she was meant to be more than that. Ellen had grown up knowing that there were monsters that lurked in the dark of night; she just never thought that she would have grown up to be one of them.

Ellen walked over to the cracked window, dust from the outside still clouding her view of the night sky. Still, the moon shone down on her as brightly as it had over a hundred years ago. She let herself bathe in the moonlight; her eyes glowed the same eerily silver color that covered the earth. If the others had been the day, the bright golden hope of Noah, then she was the night. The dark wasn't so scary once she got used to it, it was beautiful in its own strange way.

She stayed like that for hours watching the moon, just a girl trapped in time with only her thoughts to keep her company through the long, long night ahead of her.

* * *

**I POSTED CHAPTER 3 AGAIN BY ACCIDENT SO SORRY YALL**

**chapter four is done done done! please review and let me know your thoughts! the reviews that i get always make my day so much better and i remember every single one :)**

**and if anyone wants to actually read the meeting between ellen and the potters, it's in another story i wrote called "technicolor". it does contain slight spoilers with her relationships to others that will develop in the rewrite, so proceed with caution.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

* * *

Ellen was up before anyone else in the house the next morning. Sleep had evaded her all night, dark circles stained underneath her eyes as proof of her unrest. Her mind had been whirling for hours; she had wondered if she was doing the right thing here, if she belonged back in this world. Was she going to do more harm than good by barging back into Harry's life?

Her coffee mug was warm between her hands and the familiar weight kept her grounded. Faintly she could hear the sounds of people beginning to awaken upstairs as the old floorboards groaned with every movement. It was a shame; she'd actually been enjoying the peace and quiet of the old house for a moment.

The stairs creaked as someone made their way down into the kitchen. Remus poked his head in through the door, his hair still ruffled from sleep. He yawned and walked over to the counter to pour his own mug of coffee. He still liked it the same way he had over fifteen years ago, overly sweet and dark enough to see his reflection in it. Ellen smiled up at him and motioned for him to join her at the table,

"Long night?" said Remus, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"More like no night at all," said Ellen, "I was up the whole time. You know me, stargazing."

"Ellen, you need to sleep more."

"What's it going to do? Kill me?" She laughed. "I'll be fine Moony."

He shook his head at that, a good-natured smile still playing on his lips. "You're absolutely impossible."

"Always have been, always will be."

Remus finally laughed at that and shook his head like he couldn't believe she was there. Silence enveloped the room but it was a light silence, the kind of comfort that only exists between a set of souls that knew each other inside and out. It wasn't that they didn't have words to say; it was that they did not need to speak to get the feeling across.

Her eyes scanned over him as he drank his coffee. The signs of age were obvious but he was still the Remus she had known and loved once upon a time. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, tiny scars still covered his face, the constantly amused quirk of his lips remained. There was a reason that Ellen had been so drawn to him all of those years ago and for a moment she indulged herself in the idea of allowing her heart to love Remus again. It would be an easy life full of laughter and affection. He was a good man down to his very core, a good man who did not believe that he deserved a better life than the one he had been given. Ellen would be happy with him; she knew that deep in her soul. But the tiny voice that still existed in her head warned her of falling in love with those she could not age with. She would have to watch him grow older and weaker, watch him fade into nothing while she still remained frozen in the same place she always had been. Was it worth that pain for just a few years of happiness?

Almost as if he could feel her unrest, Remus reached out and grabbed her hand in his. He smiled at her and shook his head. She didn't have to give him an answer yet. They could just exist in this moment for now.

The pair remained in silence until the rest of the inhabitants of Number 12 Grimmauld Place came down into the kitchen bringing their never-ending chatter and enthusiasm with them. Sirius gave the two a knowing glance as he settled down next to them and slung an arm over Ellen's shoulders.

Molly was bustling around getting breakfast prepared with pots and utensils twirling around her in an organized chaos that only she could control. She stared down at her mug aimlessly, leaning against Sirius's shoulder. As awful as Grimmauld Place might be, there was something comforting about being there. She was surrounded by the people that she loved for the first time in fifteen years and for a moment, Ellen realized that she felt safe.

Safety. What an odd feeling it was.

The sound of dishes being set onto the table pulled her out of her thoughts. The teenagers sitting at the table dug in without hesitation, scooping mountains of food onto their plates to fill they never-ending stomachs.

With a small tinge of amusement Ellen remembered that she used to eat much, much more than that. A parasitic-type Innocence drained the life out of its host and Ellen had been no exception to that rule. She'd single-handedly been responsible for emptying the Black Order's stores of food on more than one occasion. She'd been lucky that the Black Order had provided for her back then. There were much worse fates that parasitic-types faced than being drafted into holy wars.

Molly set another mug of coffee in front of her with a loud thud. "We've got work to do in the drawing room today. There are doxies in every corner of this house."

"I suppose I can't weasel my way out of this one?" said Ellen.

The withering glare Molly gave her was the only answer that she needed.

* * *

It took the group another half hour to finish their breakfast before those that were awake were herded upstairs into the aforementioned drawing room. Molly had handed out cloths to tie over their mouths and noses along with bottles of a suspicious looking black liquid that they were to spray on the doxies.

Ellen had just finished tying her own mask to her face when Harry and Ron stumbled in with sleep still in their eyes.

"Cover your faces and take a spray," said Molly. "It's Doxycide. I've never seen an infestation this bad…"

The tapestries and curtains hanging on the walls were absolutely filthy and they buzzed angrily as the group approached. It almost sounded like a herd of angry Teez, those annoying little buggers that had followed Ellen around so much in her youth. Ellen eyed the curtains carefully. Even if doxies were fond of her, she had never met a creature that enjoyed being forced out of their home and sprayed in the face with chemicals.

She could hear Molly warning the others about the dangers of doxy bites. Even without worrying about the poison that coated their teeth their bites were still painful. Doxies had tons of sharp little teeth and they liked to hold on once they'd gotten into flesh.

"When I say the word, start spraying immediately," Molly said. "They'll come flying out at us, I expect, but it says on the sprays one good squirt will paralyze them. When they're immobilized, just throw them in this bucket."

She stepped carefully out of their line of fire and raised her own spray. "All right — squirt!"

The group had been spraying only a few seconds when a fully grown doxy came soaring out of a fold in the material, shiny beetlelike wings whirring, tiny needle-sharp teeth bared, its fairylike body covered with thick black hair and its four tiny fists clenched with fury. It stopped dead in its tracks when it laid eyes on Ellen, flying up to rest on top of the bottle she was holding. The creature buzzed with joy as it looked at her, its sharp little teeth stretched out in an imitation of a smile.

Ellen smiled softly and rubbed the rough fur of its tiny head. "What are you doing here?" She cooed at it, the doxy buzzing happily under her attention. "You can't go attacking the wizards, it's very rude."

The doxy's antennae drooped at the criticism, forcing a small giggle out of Ellen. She ushered the small creature into her front pocket and patted it gently with an order to stay there. She turned back to the others just in time to hear Molly scolding one of her brood.

"Fred, what are you doing?" Molly was saying sharply. "Spray that at once and throw it away!"

She looked over to where the boy was holding a struggling doxy between his forefinger and thumb. "Right-o," Fred said brightly, spraying the doxy quickly in the face so that it fainted, but the moment Molly's back was turned he pocketed it with a wink.

Getting all of the doxies out of the curtain was a long ordeal that took up most of the morning. It must have been past noon when Molly finally slumped into one of the dusty armchairs in the corner and removed the cloth covering her face. The carnage was unbelievable. Buckets sat scattered across the room full of unconscious doxies and a bowl of their slimy black eggs was resting on one of the tables. The doxy sitting in Ellen's pocket practically whined every time it poked its head out and saw the damage that had been done. She rubbed her finger on the tops of its head once more to comfort the poor thing before she managed to sneak out of the room for a moment and hide it away in her bedroom.

She had just returned when the clanging doorbell rang suddenly, setting off Mrs. Black's portrait downstairs. Molly immediately rushed off to deal with it, leaving them all alone with the promise of lunch when she returned. The teens peeked out the window, remarking about Mundungus' abundance of cauldrons.

Ellen gently pulled at the twins' shirts to catch their attention. She jerked her head at the pile of doxies and eggs. "Go on, take them while Molly is occupied. I'll just tell her I got rid of them."

They blinked in shock before quickly grabbing the items and vanishing from the room with a loud crack. Ellen just smiled and pet the doxy that refused to move from her front pocket.

At that precise moment there was an explosion of sound from downstairs. All of them could hear Molly shouting at the top of her voice. "WE ARE NOT RUNNING A HIDEOUT FOR STOLEN GOODS!"

"I love hearing Mum shouting at someone else," said Fred, with a satisfied smile on his face as he and his twin appeared back in the room. "It makes such a nice change."

"— COMPLETELY IRRESPONSIBLE, AS IF WE HAVEN'T GOT ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT WITHOUT YOU DRAGGING STOLEN CAULDRONS INTO THE HOUSE —"

Ellen rolled her eyes and made for the door. "I'm going to go stop her from killing Mundungus. You lot just do…whatever kids your age do." She quickly moved down the stairs and into the kitchen where Molly had dragged the portly man.

Said witch was still screaming, pointing to the pile of cauldrons that were strewn across the floor and the portrait was shrieking nonsense down the hall. Ellen slammed the door loudly, catching everyone's attention. "What the bloody hell is going on down here? Are you completely daft Mundungus?"

Mundungus began to stutter out excuses. "Someone was willing to buy 'em back off me for twice what 'e wouldsta paid in the first place!"

"That doesn't mean you can bring them here, you idiot!" Ellen resisted the urge to wrap her hands around his neck. "What if someone came looking for you and saw you disappear here?"

He sputtered and turned red, running out of things to say. "She paid me to bring 'em here. Said to bring 'em straight to the Walker girl."

Ellen stopped in her tracks and whipped her wand out, pressing it under his chin. Mundungus's face turned an interesting shade of purple as he tried to shrink away from the wand but Ellen simply stepped closer, her voice deadly quiet and calm. "What was her name?"

"She didn't give me no name," Mundungus said quickly. "Tiny little thing she was, mustn't of been older than a first year."

"Is there anything else she gave you?" asked Ellen, a deep sense of dread filling her. The man squirmed uncomfortably as she pressed the wand against him hard when he didn't answer.

"Gave me a letter for some bloke named Allen. Don't 'spose you know 'im, do you?"

There moment her name left his lips it felt as if the room suddenly froze and shifted a bit to the left. It was just the tiniest bit off and it felt as if she couldn't catch her balance. She didn't know if she wanted to scream or cry or laugh, or all of them at once. Her wand slowly moved from under his chin and she signed heavily. "Go. You've done enough."

Mundungus sputtered but obeyed her, not before setting the accursed letter next to her on the table and practically sprinting out of the room. Ellen supposed that the sudden shift in attitude was enough to make any man worth his salt wary about whatever it was that might happen next. She picked the letter up and stared at it, taking in the familiar writing on the front.

Molly leaned over her, putting her hand on the girl's shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"The others are here," said Ellen quietly. "I don't know where they are or how they've found me, but they're here."

She watched Molly's eyes widen in shock. "I'll handle it, you just feed the kids. Let Sirius know that I need to speak with him when you get up there."

The woman quickly made a plate of sandwiches and drinks for the children and hurried out of the room, taking one last glance at the distraught Noah. Ellen gripped her wand tightly, breathing out the spell she could barely use. "_Expecto Patronum._"

A glowing white butterfly balanced on the tip of the wand, its wings fluttering softly. If she looked closely, Ellen could see the skull on its chest and the tiny razor sharp teeth snapping at nothing; even her patronus was a constant reminder of all that she had lost. She reached out and stroked one delicate wing with her fingertip, smiling as it climbed up off the wand. "Go to Albus Dumbledore. Tell him that the Clan has found us."

The Patronus fluttered quickly out of the room, passing by Sirius's head as he walked in. She leaped up out of her chair and wrapped her shaking arms tightly around him. Ellen pressed her face into his chest and let him hold her for a moment. Her voice was as weak and shaky as she felt in that moment when she finally found the power to speak.

"The Noah found me," said Ellen. "It's not safe for me to stay here anymore. You're all in danger."

"You're an idiot if you think I'm going to let you disappear again. Let them try to take you, I won't let them."

"Only fools would fight against the Noah."

"Then I'm a fool," said Sirius. "We lost you once, we're not going to lose you again."

Ellen pulled away from him with her arms still shaking. She reached out and grabbed the letter, smoothing one tremoring finger over the familiar handwriting. It was wrinkled and stained from being kept in Mundungus's pocket but it was still the same thick parchment that Rhode had preferred.

The wax seal crackled as she tore it open to find a single piece of paper folded up inside. Rhode's handwriting was still as spidery and childlike as it had always been. Such an unnerving way of receiving a threat.

_Dearest Allen,_

_It's very rude to hide from your family. We've been looking for you for such a long time and here you are, back in London with a group of humans. Humans are so delicate, aren't they? We miss you Allen. Come back to us before we have to force you._

_Love, Rhode_

Ellen set the letter down softly, screwing her eyes shut. "I have to go to them," said Ellen, trying to stand while Sirius held her still. "Sirius, they'll kill all of you. You don't get it, they're stronger than I am. This isn't something that we can win."

He pulled her back down and turned her to look him in the eyes. "We have time to figure this out. You don't have to do this alone anymore."

"I need to be alone right now," She jerked out of his arms and opened an Ark gate. "I'll come back; I promise."

* * *

The gate slammed behind her with a resounding thud, echoing in the emptiness of the atrium. Ellen wasn't sure exactly where she had ended up, but it had to be one of the countless rooms in the Tower she had yet to explore. She could spend an eternity searching through her Ark and she would have barely scratched the surface of the magnificence that it had to offer. The space outside of the atrium was a beautiful place, bright green grass and lovely flowers planted all throughout. There were smoothly carved stone benches lining the edges of the atrium and it seemed to glow even in the cloudy gloom of the Ark. It would have been a normal garden if it were not for the pond.

It was right in the center of the grassy area, unnaturally round and the deepest blue color Ellen had ever seen. She was sure that if she dipped a hand into the waters it would come up stained a brilliant shade of blue.

She slipped her shoes off on the edge of the garden, wiggling her toes in the dry grass. As if she was in a trance, Ellen walked closer to the pond; the depths of the water was calling to her with the sweetest song she'd ever heard, one full of promise of peace and happiness. Ellen knelt before the pond and looked down into the mirror-still water.

Yellow eyes and deadened grey skin stared back at her. Even the girl's hair was the soft, snowy white color that it grew naturally and Ellen was sure that if she brushed her hair aside, she would see a crown of stigmata resting across her forehead. Her reflection smiled back at her and motioned for Ellen to lean in closer, to join her, to become the reflection that she saw before her. Ellen caught herself reaching out to where her fingers were nearly brushing against the mirror smooth surface of the water when she snatched her hand away.

The reflection looked her with such sad eyes, ones full of tears begging to fall like diamonds across her face; it was like she had broken the poor thing's heart with her refusal. _I'm sorry_, Ellen mouthed to her reflection. Maybe one day she would take her hand, but not today.

Ellen leaned back on her hands and stared up at the cloudy sky above her. The clouds rolled with every breath she took, moving like the currents of an ocean just waiting for the next wave to crash. With a simple flick of her wrist the already gray skies of the Ark began to darken and black storm clouds rolled in, crackling with thunder and lightning as violent rain poured down into paradise.

She laughed to herself. "And so God set upon the world a great flood.."

The rain poured down viciously, never slowing. Ellen lay there in the same position with her face turned towards the sky as the rain pelted against her skin. Completely numb to the passage of time, she was soaked to the bone yet she felt no cold or discomfort.

If only she could stay that way forever, slowly letting the rain purify her tainted existence. It was all her fault, after all. She had brought danger to the Order, a danger that they couldn't hope to fight.

Voldemort was been a wizard that was capable of great, terrible things; he was as close to a monster as a man could get, but even on his darkest days he would never truly know the darkness in the way the Clan of Noah did. They were the creations of a world turned to ruin by a vengeful god, born and bred in the darkness to become the nightmares that lived in the back of every human's mind. The Noah were the true danger. Those that were awakened had been so for hundreds of years and only would have grown more in control of their gifts with each passing day. The laws that the wizarding folk lived by did not exist for the Noah. Their cruelest, most devastating spells would be nothing more than a soft blow. Ellen shuddered to imagine a member of the Order of the Phoenix having to face off against a single Noah, much less the unified power of the Clan. The Noah had nearly taken hold of the world and cast it into the Three Days of Darkness. There was no wizard alive that would be able to take them on and tell the tale.

Even Ellen wasn't strong enough to stop them if she was being honest. But, she asked herself, would she even want to?

There had been a time when she'd truly considered the ones she trusted to be family. Even if the acceptance she had found with them was something she'd been forced to hide, it had been utter bliss. Everything she had ever desired was in her grasp. Love, truth, family; they had given it all to her without a second thought as to what the consequences might have been. They weren't perfect. Their existence was stained with the innocent blood that they had shed, but she had found herself seeing beyond that, seeing the people they were underneath all of the grey. Ellen had loved them with everything she had to give. She had been willing to cast the world into chaos if it just meant that she could stay with them forever.

But no good things ever came to foolish little exorcists that meddled with Noah. She couldn't see the memory clearly anymore, the passage of time had blurred the images in her head into vague ideas of what had once stood before her. Still, the feelings remained. Ellen could remember the sound her sword made as it pushed into Adam's chest past the breastbone and through the soft, wet tissue. The fuzzy picture of his face staring down at her as blood began to pour from his mouth, his gasping words as he begged his dear family not to do this to him until there was no longer any light behind his eyes. She could smell the blood that had coated her hands, the smell of burnt akuma skeletons that littered the battlefield around them. The screams still echoed in her ears as she watched the one that betrayed her fall down to earth like a butterfly with its wings ripped off.

The sound that the Heart of Innocence made as it was ground to dust in a bloodstained glove, blowing away in the wind.

Shattering. Searing, burning pain that had run up her entire arm and into the hole that had been burrowed into her heart. The feeling as a part of her so deeply intertwined with her being that she had never known life without it began to die within her. The sense of emptiness that she had never felt before, one that she thought she knew well but it had been nothing compared to that moment. Her head trying to split open as the shrieks of her dying Innocence mixed with the maniacal laughter of the man who would become the Earl.

Ellen could still feel the hard rock cutting into her knees and soaking her clothing with blood as she fell and clawed at her forehead, doing anything just to make the pain _stop_. Warm blood had poured over her face as she'd torn her skin apart but she hadn't been able to stop. She'd felt wrong, felt cold; it felt like the life that had burned so brightly inside of her was violently snuffed out without a single ember to give her hope of seeing the light ever again. Her master's words echoing in her ears over the screaming and wailing:

_You'll kill someone you love when you become the Fourteenth. You'll kill someone you **love** when you become the 'll**kill**someoneyou**love**whenyoubecometheFourteenth.**killsomeoneyoulove.love.**_

Then the silence had come. The world had stopped in its tracks and all of the eyes on the godforsaken battlefield were directed towards her. A hand had reached out for her, the same hand that was covered in the dust of Innocence, the hand that had destroyed that which was a part of her down to her very core. There had been bile that rose in her throat and spilled out of her mouth onto the ground below her, the disgusting taste lingering for years afterwards. Whatever it was that was said to her fell upon deaf ears. Her throat was torn raw and bloodied as she had screamed for all of them to get away from her, to stay away.

There was the slick, uneven ground beneath her feet as she ran. She had run and run and run until the earth stopped and she was flying before the pain came. The pain came and it washed over her and threatened to pull her under into the darkness but the wretched laugh in her mind kept yanking her back into the burning light of day, no matter how many times she tried to fly away from the world around her.

Her lungs could fill with water and her throat could be crushed until she could not even summon the memory of what it felt like to breathe, but she would always be pulled away from the fate she so desired.

Thunder crashed loudly, sending Ellen's eyes flying open.

She leaned back over to hunch over herself, water tripping from the strands of hair that had become plastered to her face. She wasn't sure how long it took her but she slowly pulled herself away from the visions of the past still dancing around her. With a deep sigh, she lightened the rain to a gentle drizzle. There was no need to flood the Ark when she wasn't even around. She walked out of the atrium to an empty, covered room and dried herself off with a few charms.

Once more she opened a gate back into Grimmauld Place without much thought and landed roughly on the floor of her bedroom. An amused chuckle echoed in the room and Ellen rolled over on her back to glare at where Albus Dumbledore was sitting on her bed.

"You've been gone a while, old friend."

"It can't have been more than a few hours," said Ellen.

Albus stared at her oddly, almost as if he was concerned. "It's over a week, my dear."

Her jaw dropped in disbelief. She had lost track of time before, drifting away for hours but never for that many days. "I-I'm sorry Albus. I wasn't even aware that I was in the Ark for that long…"

"No worries, I'm just glad that you're safe. I feared the worst when you did not return at the end of the first day," Dumbledore removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Sirius gave me the letter that you received. The contents are…troubling to say the least."

"I know," said Ellen as she ran her fingers through her hair. "If I go to them, I'll be giving up the life that I've built for myself. But if I stay, I'll be putting you all in danger."

Albus hesitated, looking almost frightened to say what he was going to. "Ellen, I have to ask…Do you believe that they would join Voldemort in their quest?"

She couldn't help but snort at the very though. "Definitely not. They had enough issues taking orders from the Earl."

"Would they be an asset to the Order?"

"They wouldn't join us either," said Ellen. "Besides, their methods don't really line up with the way the Order operates. Could you imagine how Molly would react if she saw Joyd rip a mans heart out?"

Albus made a face as he considered it. "That would be quite the sight. Nonetheless, you will be safe at Hogwarts if you are truly concerned about your Clan attempting to retrieve you. No one can get through the wards surrounding the castle."

She reached out with her pinky finger and hooked it around his, just as she had in the days when he was young and still so full of wonder. "I'm so sorry about this Albus. I know how stressful things are and I've just added to it. You've got Harry's trial to worry about and I've heard what the Prophet is doing..."

Ellen trailed off in confusion when her friend laughed. "Harry's trial was a few days ago." Albus smiled at her. "Not even the Wizengamot could find him guilty."

She felt joy start to bubble up inside of her, a giddy sort of elation that she didn't think that she was able to feel anymore. Ellen threw her arms around Albus and kissed him soundly on the cheek with a loud smack, exclaiming her thanks in his ear. The moment she released her friend he waved her off towards the door where he knew Harry was staying. Her feet flew over the dusty carpet as she sprinted down the corridor. Ellen pounded loudly on the door and all but launched herself at the boy when he opened it.

"Oh Harry, I'm so happy for you!" She cupped his face, slightly squishing his cheeks. "I knew those idiots wouldn't have anything on you."

"Er, thanks?" said Harry slowly extracting himself from her grip.

Ellen froze where she was standing, her face growing warm with embarrassment. She had been so overcome with joy that he was not going to lose his place at Hogwarts that she had forgotten that they had only had one real conversation in the time that he had known her. She was still a stranger, even if she had known him his entire life. She patted him awkwardly on the shoulder before stepping back. "Right then. Sorry, I just got a bit excited. Been gone for a few days and I just heard the news."

Harry stepped out into the hallway with her, shutting the door behind him. "Were you in the, um," he lowered his voice, "the Ark?"

She nodded in response, looking down to see that Harry was wearing his father's ring on his right hand. "The time just slipped away from me. It happens quite a bit in my old age."

"Hermione was really worried about you. Mrs. Weasley too, she wouldn't really say it but you could tell."

"You don't ever need to worry about me. I'm much tougher than I look."

Harry looked her up and down in all of her short, pixie-like glory with a look on his face like he didn't completely believe her. Something about his face, the quirk of his lips combined with that little brow lift was so familiar that she could have sworn she was standing with James Potter. Her heart twisted painfully for a second before she pushed the feeling away, reaching out to swat Harry on the back of the head as she had with his father so many times before. "I'll not be taking any lip from you, Harry Potter!"

He smiled at her mischievously and she couldn't help but grin back. "C'mon," she jerked her head to the side. "I was looking through my bag the other night and I found some stuff that you might like to have."

She led him back down the hallway into her now empty room. Part of her wondered where exactly Albus had gone, but he did so enjoy the air of mystery and confusion that followed him. It was one of Albus's many charms and she would be a terrible friend to deny him his eccentricities. She smiled to herself at the thought as she headed over to where her well worn duffel bag had been tossed without a second thought. The bag pulled open with a loud zip, the teeth on the zipper protesting the rough treatment. Ellen lifted it up higher and shoved her arm in to about her elbow as she began to rummage around through it.

Harry entertained himself with watching her face as she struggled to find whatever it was that was buried deep in the bag. Her brows furrowed deeply for a second before she grinned and pulled out a wad of old photographs, the corners looking worn as if she had pulled them out and stroked her fingers along the edges often. She plopped herself down in one of the chairs they had sat and talked in the week prior and eagerly motioned for him to come and sit in the chair next to her.

"These right here," said Ellen when he made himself comfortable. "These are the best pictures I have of your parents."

Ellen handed him the stack carefully, a soft smile on her face as he took them in his hands almost reverently. Some of the pictures were the wizarding photographs that Harry had grown used to, his parents smiling and waving out at him from their positions, but most were old Muggle Polaroid shots. They were all different. His parents wrapped up with each other on an old looking couch, James grabbing onto Lily's rounded belly with the widest grin on his face. There were slightly blurry pictures of his father and a younger Sirius laughing at something. Remus and Ellen sitting on the floor with his parents pouring over some type of book. His mother spinning and smiling in a beautiful white gown by herself as she twirled the skirt around and around. There were pictures of them passed out asleep on various sofas and blankets outside under the stars, pictures of them cooking, one particular image of James kissing the frosting from their wedding cake off of Lily's cheek. The only thing that all of the pictures had in common were that the people in them looked happy.

There were tiny little notes written on the back of each photograph with the dates and what was happening in the photo. Ellen's rounded cursive read anything from 'late nights at the lake' to 'James almost burned the kitchen down again'. Each and every one was a tiny glimpse into the past, into people that he would never get to know.

He looked up at Ellen unsure of what he should say or do. She only smiled in return. "You can have them if you'd like. I know you must not have many pictures of them and I made sure to pick out the best ones."

"But they're yours," protested Harry, even as he gripped the pictures tighter.

"And I say that they're yours now. You deserve to see them like this, not just in some posed photograph. That's what they were really like Harry, so, so full of joy even in the darkest hours."

Harry didn't say a word, just kept staring down at the pictures in his hands. He shot up suddenly. "I've got to go, I forgot to pack my, er…"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as Sirius walked in, saving him from whatever excuse he was about to make. Sirius stared Ellen down with a slightly sour look on his face, Harry taking the opportunity to slip out the room behind him, moving like the bats of hell were chasing him."So, you're finally back."

Ellen rolled her eyes at him and moved onto her bed, bouncing slightly when Sirius threw himself down next to her. "I took a trip down memory lane."

"How did it go?"

"It was terrible, don't ever do it."

He laughed loudly and rolled over so that he was halfway laying on her, ignoring the struggle Ellen was going through just to breathe underneath his weight. "What'd you do to scare poor Harry this time?"

"I didn't scare him," said Ellen loudly. "I think I just...overwhelm him a bit. Gave him some of my old pictures with James and Lily."

"That'll do it."

Ellen squirmed underneath him until he finally rolled off of her and allowed precious, precious air to fill her lungs once more. She propped herself up on her elbows and grabbed a chunk of his hair in her hands and began to idly braid it. Sirius all but purred under the attention and left her to her own devices. A comfortable sort of silence filled the room as it had when they were much younger as Ellen continued to completely fill his long hair up with tiny braids that were destined to fall apart the moment he shook his head.

He lifted his head up slightly, his voice thick as if he was falling asleep. "You do know that tomorrow is the 12th, right?"

"What?" She shot up, pulling his head and a few poor strands of hair up with her. "No! I haven't even gotten my uniform yet, oh my god, I haven't even packed!"

She whipped her wand out in a panic and quickly began summoning everything into her duffel bag. Shoes and hangers were flying every way, clothes trying to fold themselves in the air. Sirius was hysterical with laughter over her reaction, only ducking when something came flying over his head.

"Don't worry, Dumbledore got a few uniforms for you. They're in your nice, boggart-free wardrobe," said Sirius with a laugh as she all but lunged for the package. Ellen ripped it open and set everything out on her bed. It was everything that she would need. All of her schoolbooks, shirts, skirts, different types of sweaters, appropriate shoes and socks, school robes, even a heavy cloak that she would need for winter.

Ellen ran her hand over everything before she frowned. "How did Albus know what size to get me?"

"Probably just told them to get the average size of a third year," said Sirius as dodged the shoe she send flying his way. "Not your fault that you're small."

"Rude," sniffed Ellen. "You wouldn't be so tall if you'd stopped aging at 16."

"Yeah," Sirius's eyes softened. "I'd forgotten how young you look…Didn't really notice back then, I guess."

Ellen threw a school robe in his face. "Hey, stop that. I'm not going to let you feel bad about something that you have absolutely no control over. Besides," she continued, "It's coming in handy. I'll get to keep Harry safe, even if I have to put up with people calling me a Beast."

"That's always bothered you, hasn't it?" Sirius tossed the robe back to her. "The whole Beast thing."

"I just...I feel like I've never truly had a say in what people see me as. I was God's soldier, I was the Destroyer of Time, the Fourteenth, a traitor, a Beast. Everywhere I go, someone has already decided what it is that I'm to be. All I want to be is a person, a human like the rest of you. I was born a human, raised a human, and I've lived as a human. I wish the world could see that. Even when I had Innocence, they didn't see me as a person. I was a demon, I was cursed," Her black, clawed hand clenched in a fist. "All of this for something that I never chose. I didn't choose to be born with Innocence. I didn't choose to be the host of a Noah. None of this was something I would have wanted for myself."

Her words rang loudly in the silent room. There was no way for Sirius to respond to her; for all that had been done to him in his short life, he'd never truly known what it meant to be thrown away from the essence of who he was. He'd always had the choices that Ellen would have given her entire being to taste just once. A small part of him wondered what her life would have become if she had been born with them, away from a fate that was already decided for her. What kind of person would Ellen Walker be if all the pieces that had formed her into who she was were gone?

Their conversation must have been loud enough to wake the doxy Ellen had hidden away in her room the week before. She heard it give a short trill and dive down into her hair, cuddling against the strands like it couldn't believe that she was back. Somehow the creature managed to break the uncomfortable silence between the two as they burst into laughter while Ellen tried to untangle the wretched little thing from the nest it was trying to make on her head. It took quite a bit of tugging for her to finally dislodge it and cradle it between her hands, cooing at the pest like it was the sweetest creature she'd ever laid eyes on.

Sirius raised his brow at the sadly common sight of his friend cuddling one of the banes of the wizarding world. "Why do those things like you so much?"

"They're created of Dark Matter," said Ellen, stroking the creature's rough fur. "Not as much as the first generation, I'm sure that the potency has slowly bred out of them, but they like us. There used to be a nest of them that lived behind the drapes in Sheril's study. The little buggers loved to hide in his ponytail, it drove him mad the way they'd follow him around but he never did anything to get rid of them. I think we all have a soft spot for them."

She allowed the doxy to crawl back into her pocket, its body vibrating as it purred with pure happiness. Ellen shoved the last bit of her clothes into her bag and zipped it closed; all that was left to prove that she had even been in the room was the bed she'd conjured and the clothes she'd left laying out to wear to the train station the next day. It was just how she liked it, being able to disappear without a trace. She climbed onto the bed next to Sirius and cuddled up close to him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Her voice was muffled against his shoulder as she spoke. "I'm really going to miss you."

He kissed the top of her head gently. "I'll be here, I'm not going anywhere."

"I want to stay here with you," murmured Ellen with a sad sigh. "I'm so scared that I'll leave and then I'll lose you again."

"You won't."

"That's what you said last time and look where it got us."

His muscles stiffed up beneath her as he went so rigid Ellen thought that he might have stopped breathing. She pulled away from his embrace and grabbed under his chin to make him look her in the eye. "You have to promise me right now that you're going to live. You're not allowed to die on us, not now, not ever."

"I can't-"

"Promise me!" interrupted Ellen, her voice almost hysterical. "Promise me that you're not going to do anything stupid. I know how much you're hurting right now but you can't go. You can't leave us to try to fill in the space you left because you _know_ better than anyone that it's impossible to do."

Sirius gave a deep sigh, the circles under his eyes looking darker than Ellen had noticed before. "I'll stay alive, I promise you."

"Good. That's very good," said Ellen as she nodded robotically. "If anything goes wrong, I want you to use it. I can make another one but I can't make another you Paddy."

Her eyes traced over his face and down to his neck where she could still see the glint of the thin metal chain she had gifted him so many years ago. All of their keys had been different; a necklace for Sirius, rings for James and Lily, a pocket watch for Remus. She'd even made a pin for that disgusting little Pettigrew, one that she had taken great pleasure in crushing beneath her feet the moment she'd learned of his treachery. All of the keys looked different but they acted in the same way. A forceful twist or tug would shatter it into dust, making the holder fade away until they were safe inside the sanctuary of Noah's Ark.

Sirius grinned roguishly and ran his finger along the delicate necklace. "I'll make myself right at home."

She rolled her eyes and shoved him slightly, but there was no denying the relief that washed over her in waves. If there was anything that would have shattered her to the point of no return, it would have been losing him. Ellen had claimed Sirius as a piece of her own family and she would be damned if anything was going to happen to him again. This was a second chance to make it all right.

* * *

**people: why did you make allen a girl?**

**me, a lesbian who definitely didn't start this whole thing because girl allen with the red ribbon around her neck made me Feel Sumn: oh no reason**

**ANYWAY. chapter five. you know the rest, review and give me your thoughts. reviews make my dear little heart so very happy and really help to motivate me to keep on writing. i can't tell y'all how often i've gone over the reviews on this fic and just squealed like a little girl because i'm so happy :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

* * *

Getting everyone out of the house the next morning was nothing short of a disaster. If Ellen thought that getting a single teenager out of the house was going to be difficult, several were beyond difficult. There were different items whizzing through up and down the stairs while people shouted.

Molly's voice was the loudest as she did her best to corral everyone to the front door. It was only echoed by the sound of Mrs. Black's portrait being triggered, her screaming joining the midst.

Ellen rolled over and shoved the pillow on top of her head in an attempt to muffle all of the sound. Everything was set for her to walk out the door and get on the train to Albus's dear school but it was as if she was glued to the very fabric of her sheets. Anxiety slowly bubbled inside of her, hot and heavy in her gut. There were so many questions running through her mind. What was this school even like? Could the Clan find the school? Were any of them safe now?

The writing on Rhode's note was burned into her eyes. Her threats were not simply empty promises; Ellen knew that if it came down to it, Rhode would follow through without hesitation. She'd killed dozens of humans back in the Holy War and she would kill dozens more if it meant that Ellen joined them once more.

Even with the threats, Ellen couldn't help but hold the note close to her heart as she had slept last night. It was physical proof that she wasn't alone. They hadn't forgotten her in the years that she had been gone; _they wanted her back_. She pressed the paper near her face hoping that she could smell the heavy aroma of sugar that always surrounded the Ninth, only undercut by the faint scent of the blood caked under her nails. There was no way for it to be present on a single piece of paper but Ellen could still imagine it. It smelled like home.

A single knock on her door cut through the madness downstairs and pulled her away from her wallowing. Ellen stumbled out of bed and over to the door, opening it just a crack. She grinned sleepily at Remus and opened it wider to allow him in. Part of her protested that she wasn't dressed enough for him to be in there, but the more rational side of her argued that it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before.

Remus sat down on the corner of her bed and leaned back on the palms of his hands. "Sirius and Molly are arguing about him coming to the station again."

"Again?"

"Yeah, he reckons no one will recognize him if he's transformed."

She rolled her eyes and flopped down next to Remus. "He knows that's a stupid idea, right?"

"When has that stopped him before?" said Remus with a laugh. "His mind is already made up."

Ellen shook her head in disbelief, leaning against him. This was the last day that she would see him for god knows how many months and here they were sitting as if they had all the time in the world. She looked up at his face trying to memorize all of the little differences. Ellen wanted to remember every new addition; every wrinkle, every scar, every gray hair was being etched into her brain. For every difference there was, there were ten things about Remus that had stayed just the same and he was all the more endearing for it.

She reached down and grabbed his hand, playing with his fingers as she spoke. "The Clan contacted me."

"I know," said Remus. "Sirius told me after you disappeared."

"You know, for all the years that I've spent running from them, I don't know if I'm more scared of going back to them or wanting to," she said quietly. "Is that wrong of me? To want them back?"

Remus's expression was carefully blank as he answered her. "Are you going to? Join them, that is."

"I really wish that I had an answer for that."

Her words hung heavily in the air between them. For as close as they were sitting, Ellen could practically feel him drifting away as each word fell from her lips. It was as if she had taken the biggest fear in their…_them_ and finally spoken it out loud. He'd always thought there would be a day that the others came back for her and she would leave him behind. Ellen had spent years insisting that it would never happen, but now? She wasn't sure anymore.

The Order still had no clue when the Clan wanted her back. It could be in two years or two months. The only thing that was certain was that they would come for her eventually.

"I don't want to fight with you right now," said Ellen quietly. "Not before I leave."

Remus sighed heavily and squeezed her hand once before standing. "Then we won't fight. I was sent to fetch you anyways, Mad-Eye's getting restless."

Every step that he took away from her felt like a stab in the chest, as if the moment he walked out the door that he would be gone and she would never have the chance to make it right. Before her mind could even fathom what she was doing, Ellen was running back up to him and wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him close.

Her lips brushed against his ear as she murmured, her voice breaking with effort. "I'm sorry, Remus."

Their eyes met once more and he smiled down at her, sad and sweet and so very Remus Lupin. He pulled away from her and stepped out the door, the click echoing through the room. Ellen was alone and she wasn't sure where they would go from there.

* * *

She got ready quickly after he left even though her body felt as if she was trying to swim through cement. It was startling how everything she owned could be fit in her handy duffel bag. Her whole life could be shrunk down and slung over her shoulder at a moment's notice and it hadn't hit her until that moment that there could possibly be something wrong with it.

Not even the hustle and bustle of downstairs could pull Ellen out of the daze that she was in. There was bickering and last minute rushing but it all just drifted past her. She saw Remus step past her to escort the teenagers out in almost a blur and felt Sirius's cold dog nose nudge at her hand.

Ellen followed them out into the windy September morning and glanced up at the sky. It was the same color of gray as her Ark's was, the gray clouds cloaking them from the rays of the sun. The street was equally as empty with only the sound of the teens laughing and talking with each other filling the air.

The trek to King's Cross was short, only taking them about twenty minutes to walk there by foot. The group had been lucky in that there had been no incidents to slow them down even with Sirius's antics at finally being able to run about in fresh air. The station itself was bustling with people rushing about. There were parents sending their children off to school on regular trains, people boarding to go off to work or on trips. It was so full of life and energy, a stark contrast to the house they had been living in for the summer.

Once inside the station the group casually lingered next to the barrier between platforms nine and ten until the coast was clear, then each of them leaned against it in turn and fell easily through onto platform nine and three quarters, where the Hogwarts Express stood gleaming next to the platform packed with departing students and their families.

Ellen had never had the chance to see the oh-so-famous train before. It was just as grand as her friends had described to her, all bright red metal and shining windows. There as an energy surrounding it that was nearly impossible to describe; the joy of children heading off to school for the year combined with the bittersweet feeling of their parents watching them drift away to a place where they could no longer protect them from the world.

"I hope the others make it in time," said Molly anxiously, wringing her hands as she stared over at the entrance to the platform.

Moody came limping through the archway pushing a cart full of their trunks not more than a second later, a porter's cap pulled low over his mismatched eyes. "All okay," he muttered to Molly and Tonks. "Don't think we were followed…"

Seconds later, Arthur burst through with Ron and Hermione directly behind him. The group busied themselves with unloading the luggage carts, everyone giving a collective sigh of relief when Fred, George, and Ginny turned up with Remus.

"No trouble?" Moody asked gruffly, tugging his cap further down.

"Nothing," said Remus. Ellen looked over at him in a desperate attempt to make eye contact, but he avoided her gaze easily.

"I'll still be reporting Sturgis to Dumbledore," said Moody. "That's the second time he's not turned up in a week. Getting as unreliable as Mundungus."

"Well, look after yourselves," said Remus, shaking hands all round, clapping Harry on the shoulder with words of advice. He hesitated in front of Ellen before settling for a stiff hug, neither one looking at each other. Well wishes and goodbyes filled the air as everyone left.

A warning whistle sounded; the students still on the platform started hurrying onto the train.

"Quick, quick," said Molly distractedly, hugging them at random. "Write…Be good…If you've forgotten anything we'll send it on…Onto the train, now, hurry…"

For one brief moment, the great black dog reared onto its hind legs and placed its front paws on Harry's shoulders, but Molly shoved Harry away toward the train door hissing, "For heaven's sake act more like a dog, Sirius!"

Harry hollered out a goodbye, the other children waving out the windows. Ellen watched as the figures of Tonks, Remus, Moody, and Arthur and Molly shrank rapidly but the black dog was bounding alongside the window, wagging its tail; blurred people on the platform were laughing to see it chasing the train, and then they turned the corner, and Sirius was gone.

Ellen stared over at the group, truly alone with them for the first time since they had met. If she was being honest, it was kind of awkward. The twins quickly excused themselves, vanishing with the friend they had caught up with on the platform. The train was gathering still more speed, the world outside warping to a quick blur before their very eyes.

"Shall we go and find a compartment, then?" Harry asked Ron and Hermione, Ellen hovering behind him.

The pair exchanged uneasy looks "Er," Ron looked uncomfortable, his ears turning a bright shade of pink.

"We're — well — Ron and I are supposed to go into the prefect carriage," Hermione said awkwardly. Ron was steadily avoiding making eye contact with his friend, staring down at his fingernails as if they were the most interesting thing he'd ever seen.

"Oh," Harry's voice was tight. "Right. Fine."

"I don't think we'll have to stay there all journey," said Hermione quickly. "Our letters said we just get instructions from the Head Boy and Girl and then patrol the corridors from time to time."

"Fine," said Harry again. "Well, I-I might see you later, then."

"Yeah, definitely," said Ron, casting a shifty, anxious look at Harry. "It's a pain having to go down there, I'd rather — but we have to — I mean, I'm not enjoying it, I'm not Percy," he finished defiantly.

"I know you're not," Harry grinned at him. But as they walked away, his expression fell to something sad and disappointed. Ellen reached out and gently grabbed his shoulder.

"Come on," she said, pulling him along next to Ginny, "we might be able to find an empty compartment if we go now."

They shoved their way down the corridor, peering in through the glass-paneled doors into the compartments they passed, which were already full. In the very last carriage they came along a round-faced boy who seemed to be struggling with a toad. Ellen felt her heart twinge as she looked at the spitting image of Alice Longbottom. That had to be her and Frank's son.

"Hi, Harry," he greeted the two Gryffindors. "Hi, Ginny…Everywhere's full…I can't find a seat…"

"What are you talking about?" Ginny peered into the compartment. "There's room in this one, there's only Loony Lovegood in here– "

The other boy mumbled out an excuse about not wanting to disturb anyone, obviously uncomfortable.

"Don't be silly," laughed Ginny, "she's all right." She slid the door open and pulled her trunk inside it, Ellen and the boys filing in behind her.

"Hi, Luna," said Ginny. "Is it okay if we take these seats?"

The girl beside the window looked up. She had straggly, waist length, dirty-blond hair, very pale eyebrows, and protuberant eyes made her look like she was constantly surprised by something. Ellen smiled at the way she had stuck her wand behind her ear. The girl was reading a magazine upside down and had a necklace of bottle caps gently clacking around. If she hadn't known what truly unnatural, fae creatures looked like, Ellen would have thought the blonde girl to be one of them. The gir'ls eyes ranged over Neville and Ellen before landing on Harry. She nodded as if she was satisfied by whatever it was that she saw.

"Thanks," said Ginny, smiling at her.

They all stowed their luggage above in the luggage rack, Ginny jokingly scowling at Ellen when she simply tossed her duffel bag on top of the heavy trunks. The girl called Luna watched them over her upside-down magazine, which was called The Quibbler. She did not seem to need to blink as much as normal humans. Harry looked distinctly uncomfortable as Luna stared straight at him from where she sat across from him.

"Had a good summer, Luna?" Ginny asked.

"Yes," Luna's voice was dreamy as she spoke, never taking her eyes off Harry. "Yes, it was quite enjoyable, you know. You're Harry Potter," she added.

"I know I am," said Harry. Neville chuckled at Harry's indignation. Luna turned her pale eyes upon him instead. "And I don't know who you are."

"I'm nobody," said Neville hurriedly.

"No, you're not," Ginny's tone was sharp. "Neville Longbottom — Luna Lovegood. Luna's in my year, but in Ravenclaw."

"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure," said Luna in a singsong voice. "I know what you are." She looked pointedly at Ellen.

"You do…?" She asked slowly.

"Oh yes," Luna looked back down at her magazine. "You're a Noah. I can tell by the shadow that follows you. Really quite distinctive."

She raised her upside-down magazine high enough to hide her face and fell silent. Ellen's mouth dropped and her eyes darted towards her reflection in the window; the shadowy gentleman next to her grinned back, his white eyes as empty as the first day she'd seen them. For a moment she saw his eyes flit over to where Luna was sitting but then his gaze was back, staring into her very soul. The boys looked at each other with their eyebrows raised in confusion, Ginny stifling a giggle at their expressions.

The train rattled onward, speeding them out into open country. It was an odd, unsettled sort of day; one moment the carriage was full of sunlight and the next they were passing beneath ominously gray clouds. "Guess what I got for my birthday?" Neville broke the silence.

"Another Remembrall?" asked Harry, frowning as if he was remembering something.

"No," said Neville, "I could do with one, though, I lost the old one ages ago…No, look at this…"

The boy dug the hand that wasn't holding his pet toad into his schoolbag and after a little bit of rummaging pulled out what appeared to be a small gray cactus in a pot, except that it was covered with what looked like boils rather than spines. Ellen stared at it through narrowed eyes. There was something familiar about the plant but for the life of her, she couldn't put her finger on it.

"_Mimbulus mimbletonia,_" he said proudly.

"It's really, really rare," Neville continued. "I don't know if there's one in the greenhouse at Hogwarts, even. I can't wait to show it to Professor Sprout. My great-uncle Algie got it for me in Assyria. I'm going to see if I can breed from it."

"Does it — er — do anything?" Harry asked.

"Loads of stuff!" said Neville proudly. "It's got an amazing defensive mechanism — hold Trevor for me..." He dumped the toad into Harry's lap and took a quill from his schoolbag.

Neville held the _Mimbulus mimbletonia_ up to his eyes, his tongue between his teeth, chose his spot, and gave the plant a sharp prod with the tip of his quill. Ellen's eyes widened with realization and before she had the chance to throw herself to the ground the plant was exploding. Jets of disgusting green liquid coated the entire compartment from ceiling to floor. She practically gagged at the smell but resisted if only for the fact that the last thing she wanted was for any of the sap to get into her mouth.

She roughly wiped the thick sap away from her eyes and flung it onto the ground in disgust. The rest of the group had been hit as well. Ginny had been lucky enough to throw her arms in front of her face before it hit so only her body and hair had been covered with the gunk. Luna's magazine had similarly shielded her face, but Harry and Neville were completely covered.

Harry shuddered and spat a wad of the sap onto the ground, landing right next to Ellen's shoe. She glared over at Neville while he shook his head to get the worst out of his eyes.

"S-sorry," he gasped. "I haven't tried that before...Didn't realize it would be quite so…Don't worry, though, Stinksap's not poisonous," he added nervously.

"Never mind," said Ginny bracingly. "Look, we can get rid of all this easily." She pulled out her wand. "_Scourgify_!"

The Stinksap vanished without a trace, leaving the compartment as clean as it was when they entered. "Sorry," said Neville again, in a small voice while Ellen tried her best to make herself comfortable again after such an ordeal.

The rest of the group seemed to bounce back quickly, chatting among them. Ellen closed her eyes and leaned against the window, hoping that some sleep would make the journey pass by a little faster. She could faintly hear the sound of the teens laughing, someone shrieking as though it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. The compartment quieted down for a few minutes and Ellen was almost asleep when the jarring sound of the compartment door opening jerked her awake. She heard Harry snap at someone before she finally opened her eyes.

"Manners, Potter, or I'll have to give you a detention," drawled the blurry image of a teenage boy. She could see white blonde hair and rather prominent, pointy features as her vision started to focus. "You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments."

"Yeah," Harry said scathingly, "but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone."

The group laughed as Ellen rubbed the sleep out of her eyes to see the other boy curl his lip up in anger. "Tell me, how does it feel being second-best to Weasley, Potter?" he asked.

"Shut up, Malfoy," Hermione snapped.

"I seem to have touched a nerve," The boy smirked at them. "Well, just watch yourself, Potter, because I'll be _dogging_ your footsteps in case you step out of line."

"Get out!" said Hermione, standing up.

The boy snickered as he finally left, leaving the compartment in an uncomfortable silence. Ellen could see how worried Harry was, but she knew that they couldn't talk freely with so many others around them. She would have to find time to talk to him privately.

The weather remained undecided as they traveled farther and farther north. Rain spattered the windows in a halfhearted way, then the sun put in a feeble appearance before clouds drifted over it once more. When darkness fell and lamps came on inside the carriages, Luna rolled up The Quibbler, put it carefully away in her bag, and took to staring at everyone in the compartment instead.

"We'd better change," said Hermione at last. The group quickly changed into their uniforms, the boys excusing themselves to stand outside as the girls undressed. Ellen quickly slid the persistent doxy from Grimmauld Place into her robe pocket, patting it gently. At last the train began to slow down and they could hear people all up and down the train pulling their luggage down in order to depart.

Ron and Hermione disappeared from the carriage with the reasoning that they had to help supervise the whole event, leaving the others in charge of their pets. Ellen managed to wrangle Hermione's evil cat into her arms and stared expectantly at the others.

"I'll carry that owl, if you like," Luna said suddenly, reaching out for the tiny owl as Neville stowed his toad carefully in an inside pocket.

"Oh — er — thanks," Harry handed her the cage and shifted to get a better grip on his own owl's cage. They shuffled out of the compartment feeling the first sting of the night air on their faces as they joined the crowd in the corridor. Slowly they moved toward the doors. The scent of pine filled the air as they stepped down onto the platform.

Harry seemed to be looking around for someone while Ellen struggled to keep a grip on Hermione's demon of a cat. She could faintly hear someone calling the first years to them, but before she could really focus on the voice Crookshanks attempted to escape again.

"Where's Hagrid?" She heard Harry ask. So Hagrid was still at Hogwarts?

"I don't know," said Ginny, "but we'd better get out of the way, we're blocking the door."

"Oh yeah…"

Harry and Ellen became separated from the others as they moved off along the platform and out through the station. Harry kept trying to look around for people, so Ellen firmly gripped his arm with her free hand and began dragging him towards the carriages. They caught up with the others on the dark rain-washed road outside Hogsmeade station.

There were hundreds of carriages waiting, drawn by sets of thestrals. The creatures were completely fleshless, their black coats clinging to their skeletons, of which every bone was visible. Their heads were dragonesque, and their pupil-less eyes white and staring. Wings sprouted from each wither — vast, black leathery wings that looked as though they ought to belong to giant bats. Many of the people who saw them viewed the creatures as something grotesque, but she had always found them rather beautiful in a haunting way. Just as the Noah, they were creatures that existed somewhere between the veil of life and death. It made sense that there would be some feeling of camaraderie between them. Ellen looked over at Harry, filled with sadness as the boy was obviously seeing them for the first time. She opened her mouth to explain everything when Ron interrupted.

"Where's Pig?" Ron's voice called out from behind them.

"That Luna girl was carrying him," Harry turned eagerly towards him. "Where d'you reckon —"

"— Hagrid is? I dunno," said Ron, sounding worried. "He'd better be okay…"

"Rubeus is tough, I'm sure he's fine wherever he is." Ellen reassured them, looking over the crowds for Hermione.

Only seconds later the witch emerged panting from the crowd, a frown on her face. "Malfoy was being absolutely foul to a first year back there, I swear I'm going to report him, he's only had his badge three minutes and he's using it to bully people worse than ever…Where's Crookshanks?"

"Take him!" Ellen all but shoved the evil ball of orange fur at the girl. "That thing is evil."

"Thanks," Hermione cuddled the beast quickly. "Come on, let's get a carriage together before they all fill up..."

"I haven't got Pig yet!" Ron said, but Hermione and Ellen were already heading off toward the nearest unoccupied coach.

"What are those things, d'you reckon?" Ellen heard Harry say.

"What things?"

"Those horse —"

Their voices faded away as Hermione shut the door, sagging against the musty cushions of the carriage. Ellen smiled tiredly at her. "Rough day?"

"You have no idea." Hermione laughed.

The girls sat quietly and conversed for a minute or two, enjoying the easy atmosphere. The carriage door swung open and Ron squeezed in, owl in tow. Ellen could hear Luna's dreamy voice carrying on.

...don't worry. You're just as sane as I am." The blonde climbed in, followed by a disturbed looking Harry. She tried to catch his attention but he was too busy looking out the window.

"Did everyone see that man with the first years?" asked Ginny. Ellen frowned, trying to recall the voice that she had heard back on the platform.

"What's he doing here? Hagrid can't have left, can he?" Harry sounded concerned.

"I'll be quite glad if he has," said Luna. "He isn't a very good teacher, is he?"

"Yes, he is!" said Harry, Ron, and Ginny angrily.

Harry glared at Hermione; she cleared her throat and quickly said, "Erm...yes...he's very good."

"Well, we think he's a bit of a joke in Ravenclaw," said Luna, unfazed.

"He's a good man, you shouldn't speak ill of him." Ellen snapped, glaring at Luna who seemed completely unbothered by the whole thing.

* * *

Rattling and swaying, the carriages moved in convoy up the road. Hogwarts Castle loomed ever closer: a towering mass of turrets, jet-black against the dark sky, here and there a window blazing fiery bright above them. The carriages jingled to a halt near the stone steps leading up to the oak front doors. They all quickly made their way into the hall, Ellen's eyes widening as she took it all in.

The entrance hall was ablaze with torches and echoing with footsteps as the students crossed the flagged stone floor for the double doors to the right, leading to the Great Hall and the start-of-term feast. Ellen was speechless as she took the whole room in. The four long House tables in the Great Hall were filling up under the starless black ceiling, which was just like the sky they could glimpse through the high windows. Candles floated in midair all along the tables, illuminating the silvery ghosts who were dotted about the Hall and the faces of the students talking eagerly to one another. Luna drifted away from the group to go sit at Ravenclaw's table. All of the Gryffindors quickly found seats at their table, Ellen standing at the entrance alone. The last of the students finally trickled in and the heavy doors of the hall swung closed with a quiet thud, cutting off her view of what was happening inside.

"Miss Walker!" She heard a crisp Scottish voice call her name. Turning around, Ellen was delighted to see Minerva McGonagall. She quickly walked up to the woman, resisting the urge to hug her old friend.

"Minerva, oh it's so nice to see you," said Ellen with a smile, quickly squeezing the other woman's hand in her own. "Do I need to wait out here?"

"It's good to see you too, dearie," McGonagall returned her smile. "The first years have just arrived, so you'll be going in after them. Once they've all been sorted Albus will announce the program and you'll come up and be sorted as well."

She nodded firmly, waving goodbye to the other witch as she casually leaned against the wall behind the first years. The cool feeling of the stone faded away slowly with the rest of the world, her heartbeat echoing loudly in her ears. For a moment she could hear the faint beating of other heartbeats, but when her eyes snapped open to look, they vanished. Ellen gazed around the room to see if there was anyone else, but all she saw were the students being herded into a line.

It was only a minute more before the doors of the entrance hall opened, the long line of scared-looking first years trailing behind McGonagall who was carrying the Hat and a stool. The doors closed with a thud, the buzz from the Great Hall fading away.

A short while later, when the clapping from inside had faded, the grand doors swung open on their own. Ellen heard Albus's voice calling across the hall. "It is my pleasure to welcome the first recipient of the Creature Outreach Program, Miss Ellen Walker."

Ellen walked down the middle of the hall, keeping her eyes glued to the floor. She had never done well with so many people staring at her, that was part of why she had lived so many years in isolation. Taking a deep breath, she sat down on the stool as the first years had and let Minerva place the Sorting Hat on her head.

_'So many things I see here...'_ The hat whispered in her ear. _'Such a long life lived, so many different faces you have worn. Difficult, very difficult.'_

"Put me in Gryffindor," she whispered. "Please."

_'Gryffindor, hmm? Yes, I see bravery, almost to the point of foolishness. To face the Earl himself…Has to be _**GRYFFINDOR!**"

Ellen leapt up off the stool, rushing to sit next to Harry and Ron. She grinned widely at the other teens before turning back to face Albus, who was speaking again.

"To our newcomers," said Albus in a ringing voice, his arms stretched wide and a beaming smile on his lips as he was truly in his element, "welcome! To our old hands — welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

There was an appreciative laugh and an outbreak of applause as Dumbledore sat down neatly and threw his long beard over his shoulder so as to keep it out of the way of his plate — for food had appeared out of nowhere, so that the five long tables were groaning under joints and pies and dishes of vegetables, bread, sauces, and flagons of pumpkin juice.

"Excellent," said Ron, with a kind of groan of longing, and he seized the nearest plate of chops and began piling them onto his plate. Ellen laughed and followed suit, piling as many vegetables on top of her chicken as she could. She completely immersed herself in the act of eating, having access to the most amount of food that she'd seen since her days in the Black Order. Even without her Innocence, the Dark Matter in her arm burned away at her energy in a similar, if not as extreme way.

When all the students had finished eating and the noise level in the hall was starting to creep upward again, Dumbledore got to his feet once more. Talking ceased immediately as all turned to face the headmaster.

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices," said Dumbledore. "First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students — and a few of our older students ought to know by now too."

"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's office door."

"We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome Professor Mikk, who has come all the way from Castelobruxo to teach Care of Magical Creatures; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Ellen's heart dropped as she slowly looked up at the staff table. Sitting at the very end, staring right at her was Tyki Mikk. All of the color drained out of her face when he smiled at her fondly.

The world around her stopped. Ellen was no longer sitting in a warm hall full of students, but a muddy battlefield. She could smell the fires burning in the distance, the scent of blood hanging so heavily in the air. There was screaming and the sound of akuma firing at them from all directions. The war was all around Ellen.

Dimly, she could hear that toady looking professor standing up and making some sort of speech but those words couldn't reach her, not in that moment.

Tyki's gold eyes stared down at her, almost glowing in their intensity. They weren't as cold as expected them to be after their last encounter but they weren't filled with the same feeling as they used to be. His face was the same as it always had been and always would be, but it was a stranger's face. It was the face of a man that had been lost to her for almost two hundred years and Ellen wasn't sure who the man behind that beautiful appearance was anymore. And god, was he beautiful. It was like Ellen was looking directly into the sun and even if the rays hurt her eyes, she could not bare to glance away.

He lifted his hand slightly and waved at her; he waved at her like her last words to him hadn't been full of hatred and anger. Ellen was so numb that she didn't even notice herself returning the motion until it was too late and Tyki was smiling like she'd handed him the entire world on a platter. Her heart practically skipped a beat as she fought to tear her gaze from his.

The sounds of scattered applause pulled them out of their trance. The toady woman had stepped down, allowing Albus to take his place back at his podium.

"Thank you very much, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating," he said, bowing to her. "Now — as I was saying, Quidditch tryouts will be held…"

Harry and his friends immediately burst into hurried whispers, leaning in to discuss whatever it was that the woman had said. Ellen knew in her heart that she should be involved and listening to them, but she couldn't look away from where Tyki was.

It wasn't long before there was a great clattering and banging all around them; Dumbledore had obviously just dismissed the school, because everyone was standing up ready to leave the Hall. Hermione jumped up, looking flustered. "Ron, we're supposed to show the first years where to go!"

"Oh yeah," Ron said, obviously having forgotten that it needed to be done. "Hey — hey you lot! Midgets!"

"Ron!"

"Well, they are, they're titchy..."

"I know, but you can't call them midgets...First years!" Hermione called commandingly along the table. "This way, please!"

Ellen smiled at the little ones that crowded around the two before grabbing Harry's arm, speaking for the first time since she'd stepped into the Great Hall. "Show me how to get to the common room."

Before Harry could protest, she marched ahead, mowing through all the people who were pointing and whispering about Harry. He started to speak but she simply shushed him, hurrying up the marble staircase. The pair did not speak until they had reached the end of the corridor to the Gryffindor common room, coming to a halt when they realized that neither one of them knew the password.

"Er…" Harry said glumly, staring up at the portrait of a large woman in a pink satin dress. She frowned down at them.

"No password, no entrance," she said loftily.

"Mimbulus mimbletonia," A deep, accented voice spoke behind them. Ellen stiffened immediately, turning to glare at Tyki. "It would do you well to remember your password. You never know what kind of threats are lurking in the dark." He motioned vaguely, strolling off before either of them could respond.

"Harry, I know it!" someone panted from behind them, Neville running up to them.

"No need, " Ellen smiled tightly, "A professor helped us out."

The three climbed through the revealed circular hole in the wall leading into the tower. The Gryffindor common room looked as welcoming, a cozy circular tower room full of dilapidated squashy armchairs and rickety old tables. A fire was crackling merrily in the grate and a few people were warming their hands before going up to their dormitories.

Ellen looked over at Harry carefully. They would be wise to heed Tyki's words; after all, there were far more terrible monsters waiting for him outside the walls of this castle than those that now lurked it. All she could hope was that she could stop them all from getting to him.

* * *

**yikes so i cut the entire umbridge speech. y'all reading a 5th year HP fanfic, we all know what she says **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

* * *

Ellen's dreams that night were ruled by the past. She fell through flashes of battlefields and violence, a pair of bright golden eyes watching her throughout her free-fall. She kept reaching, reaching, _reaching _but for what, she was not sure. All that she was sure of was that if she didn't grab hold of it soon, she was going to hit the ground and hit it harder than she ever had before. A single gray arm rose from the darkness around her and reached towards her. Their fingers brushed for only a moment then Ellen was shooting up out of bed, her entire body practically drenched with sweat.

The room around her was completely dark. The other girls had long since fallen asleep with the drapes drawn closed around their beds. All she could hear was the gentle sound of snoring and one of the girls murmuring some nonsense to herself in her sleep.

She slowly crept out of her bed and resisted the urge to hiss as her bare feet touched the cold castle floor. There were hours before she even had to think about attending class, enough time to explore and then some. Ellen slipped on that godforsaken uniform she was being forced to wear as quietly as she could and was tiptoeing down the stairs into the dormitory.

She was the only one down there at such an early hour. The room that had been so lively the night before was empty and cold, only the fading embers of a once roaring fire remaining to light her way.

Ellen moved like she was a ghost, her feet barely touching the ground as she drifted away from the common room and out into the corridors. It felt wrong to be in this castle surrounded by so many young minds. They all had so much time, time that she had left behind before they were even a sparkle in someone's eye.

The castle reminded her so much of the Headquarters she had once called home. It had the same rough stone walls, the dark floors leading her into corridors unknown. If it were not for the unnerving hum of magic that seemed to seep from the very foundation of Hogwarts, she could have closed her eyes and imagined she was back. Ellen had to keep her eyes open though; there were monsters living in these walls and she'd brought them there.

Would this castle end up as the last? Would there be nothing left of its grandeur but rubble soaked in rivers of blood? How many, she wondered idly, would give their lives to save their home?

She shook her head roughly. These were children living in these walls, not exorcists. They wouldn't have an Earl to fight. They wouldn't have a Dark Lord to fight either if she had anything to do about it.

The air around her went still as she suddenly stopped in her tracks, refusing to turn around.

Ellen felt him before she heard him. He'd always had the same air about him, this warm, heavy feeling that would wrap itself around her and pull her into his web before she even knew that she was caught. His footsteps matched the sound of their heartbeats echoing in her ear.

"Good morning," said Ellen, her voice lilting like Neah's always had. There was a thread of sick satisfaction that crept out of the back of her mind, curling itself around her and slowly tightening like a vice. "I was wondering when you'd come find me again."

"You're very difficult to track down, Allen."

A bitter laugh left her. "Then I'm doing a good job."

He hummed behind her in agreement and stepped close enough that she could feel the warmth from his body just inches away from her back. "You ran."

"I did," said Ellen. "You didn't follow."

"Would it have made a difference?"

Another step closer.

"Would you have let me, _menina_?"

Closer.

"Or would I have had to chase you as I do now?"

Ellen whirled around and stared up into glowing yellow eyes. Tyki smiled down at her, lifting a hand to brush his fingers against her cheek. It took every muscles in her body not to lean into the touch, to remain strong in his overwhelming presence; it was harder than it should have been. His fingers trailed down her cheek and brushed against her neck to rest just above her pulse. Close enough to be enticing if he was a lover and threatening if Tyki was now her enemy.

"You'll leave these children be," said Ellen with a shaking voice. "Whatever issues the Clan has with me, leave them out of it."

Tyki pressed his hand harder against her neck and brushed his thumb against her pulse. "The children are no concern of ours. I only wish to teach them, is that so hard to believe?"

"But you can't read!"

His face morphed from serious to delighted, a loud laugh filled the corridor as he moved his hands to cup her face, pressing a kiss to her forehead before she could step away from him. "My Allen, it _has_ been nearly two hundred years. I learned."

A grin spread across her lips despite herself. "Well, color me impressed Tyki Mikk."

"I'm a man full of surprises," said Tyki. "It would be my pleasure for you to discover them again, to us to explore each other as deeply as we once did."

Hesitation must have been written across her face in that moment for all Tyki did was glance down at her and sigh in disappointment, releasing her face from his grasp. There wasn't time for Ellen to process what had just happened as he stepped away to leave her body feeling cold in his absence.

"I suppose," murmured Tyki. "That will be another day."

Then he was gone; he strode past her with long steps, his long jacket slightly billowing behind him in his haste to get as much distance between them as possible. Ellen just stood there and watched him go with weak knees and a racing pulse. God, it was like she was a child all over again, swooning over the mysterious Noah with his sweet words and touches.

She brushed her fingers over where he had touched her; her skin still burned as if Tyki had branded his fingertips into her flesh. There was a feeling of euphoria for a moment, the rush of having him near her until the guilt hit her like a lead weight.

Remus. Sweet, trusting Remus who was waiting for her to come back to him and here she was pining over a simple touch from the one man that could ruin everything that could be. Ellen's stomach tied itself in knots as the shame rose higher in her throat, a burning weight that seemed to spread through her entire body.

She rushed towards the Great Hall with her head down, pushing past all of the students that had risen in the time that she was standing in the corridor playing out the Shakespearean tragedy she called a life. Ellen Walker was a damned fool and it seemed that she was determined to prove that to herself time and time again.

* * *

The hall was filled with students when she finally arrived. It was easy to spot Harry and his friends where they were sitting at the Gryffindor table, what with the crowd of gingers that surrounded his every move. Ellen hurried over and grabbed the seat next to Hermione

"You weren't in the dormitory this morning," said Hermione as she glanced over at Ellen.

"Yeah," said Ellen, "I decided to do a little bit of exploring."

She dared a look up at the staff table. Tyki Mikk was sitting at the end of the table chatting away to a blonde who was staring dreamily at him, acting as if nothing had happened earlier that morning. She watched him smile and laugh with the woman and had to force down the urge to glare at the pair. Tyki was free to do whatever it was that he wanted. She didn't care.

"Dumbledore didn't even mention how long that Mikk guy's staying," Harry mentioned, pulling Ellen's attention back to the conversation at hand.

"Maybe he didn't want to draw attention to Hagrid not being here." Hermione said pensively, drawing a snort out from the Noah sitting next to her.

"What d'you mean, draw attention to it?" said Ron, half laughing. "How could we not notice?"

She was about to say something to him when the owls began to swoop inside of the Great Hall, delivering packages and the like. Hermione had a newspaper land in front of her and she, Harry, and Ron jumped into a discussion about 'knowing one's enemy' and the like. She thought about joining in but before her mind was made up a roughly wrapped parcel was dropped onto her plate, the name _Allen_ written in beautiful script.

Ellen unwrapped the package with trembling hands and unfolded the letter, brow furrowing as she had to keep unraveling layer after layer of brown paper. Finally, a flash of red caught her eye amidst all of the paper. Slowly and carefully, she grabbed the scrap of fabric between her thumb and pointer finger and pulled it out.

It was a ribbon. A bright red ribbon long enough for someone to loop around their collar and tie into a neat little bow. A ribbon just like she had worn every day of her life until the end of the Holy War. The thing looked like it was ancient and Ellen was sure that if she was to hold it up to her nose there would be the faintly damp smell of the old Headquarters that had clung to her clothing during her days in the Black Order. She ran her fingers down the fabric, feeling the smooth silk beneath her touch. Ellen's eyes darted back towards the staff table and met Tyki's for a split second. His smile was so earnest that she couldn't help but smile back at him and nod, looping the ribbon around her wrist the moment she looked away from him.

The hall filled with even more noise than before as the heads of houses started to make their way down the aisles handing out schedules. Minerva dropped theirs in front of them with a solid _thunk_ and went about her way as if she hadn't delivered doom on a piece of parchment to the poor students before her.

"Look at today!" groaned Ron. "History of Magic, double Potions, Divination, and double Defense Against the Dark Arts... Binns, Snape, Trelawney, and that Umbridge woman all in one day!"

"At least it's not Care of Magical Creatures…" Ellen said, wrinkling her nose at the thought. "Doubt I could handle that today too."

Fred and George made their way over after hearing the sound of complaining to offer some of their little tricks. Hermione instantly began arguing with them over their advertisement. Ellen blocked them out, staring dead at Tyki Mikk. The whole hall went quiet, only the sound of their heartbeats echoing in her ears.

It was so faint that she almost missed it but there was a smaller, faster heartbeat sounding from somewhere in the corridor. Ellen jerked her eyes away from Tyki, wildly looking around to find the other Noah that had to be near. No matter where she looked, there were nothing but students just moving about their days. She was pulled back into reality as she realized that everyone around her was standing up, Harry staring at her like there was something wrong with her.

Ellen leapt to her feet and walked out of the Great Hall with the three, trying to shake the feeling of being watched. "Do you know what you want to do after Hogwarts?" She heard Harry ask the other two.

"Not really," said Ron slowly. "Y'know, except, well..." He looked slightly sheepish.

"What?" Harry urged him.

"Well, it'd be cool to be an Auror," Ron's tone was a shallow attempt at sounding casual, the slight shake betraying how he really felt about the subject.

"Yeah, it would," said Harry fervently. He reminded Ellen so much of his father in that moment that she could feel the beginning of a knot forming in her throat. She forced it away quickly, trying to tell herself how proud her friends would be of their son.

"But they're, like, the elite," said Ron. "You've got to be really good. What about you, Hermione?"

"I don't know," said Hermione. "I think I'd really like to do something worthwhile."

"An Auror's worthwhile!" said Harry.

"Yes, it is, but it's not the only worthwhile thing," said Hermione thoughtfully. "I mean, if I could take S.P.E.W. further..."

Ron quickly moved on. "What you think you'll be doing after all this, Ellen?"

"Oh," She jumped slightly. "Er, I'm not really sure. I think Albus is going to have me stick around until you lot graduate, but after that who knows? It's not like I don't have the time."

They stared at her for a moment before bursting into laughter and continuing on towards their class as they debated what they would do with their futures. Ellen smiled to herself; it was beautiful to see how much life they planned to live and how fully they would live it.

* * *

It took less than five minutes after the History of Magic class started for Ellen to realize why the boys had been so glum to have this class first thing in the morning. Most of the ghosts that Ellen had met throughout her years in the wizarding world had been vibrant and full of life even though they were quite literally dead. This man seemed as if he had actually bored himself to death and was determined to have the students of the coming generations meet the same fate. History could be the most fascinating of subjects and the man managed to turn it into the dullest affair she had ever been privy to witness.

It wasn't long into the lesson that Harry and Ron had both drifted away to sleep and if she was being completely honest, she wished that she could too. Only the persistent presence of Hermione kept her from dozing off, even if she did spend the entire class period doodling all over her parchment. Even as they were leaving, Hermione was shooting them all venomous looks.

"How would it be," she asked them coldly, "if I refused to lend you my notes this year?"

"We'd fail our O.W.L.s," said Ron. "If you want that on your conscience… "

"Well, you'd deserve it," she snapped. "You don't even try to listen to him, do you?"

"We do try," said Ron. "We just haven't got your brains or your memory or your concentration — you're just cleverer than we are — is it nice to rub it in?"

"Oh, don't give me that rubbish," said Hermione. She went to say something else when Ellen gently tugged on her arm.

"Do you think you could take me to Albus's office now since we have some free time?" Her big silver eyes stared up at the witch. "It's really important."

Hermione frowned at her, looking back to the boys. "It's up one staircase and down the corridor to the left. There's a gargoyle statue in front of it."

She thanked Hermione quickly and immediately began sprinting up the stairs. Shoving past all the students that she could, she soon came to a crashing halt in front of a gargoyle statue. That wasn't moving. At all.

_Passwords_. She groaned loudly. Why did everywhere in this school have to have a password? She just had to figure it out. This was Albus after all, she knew him better than anyone. It wasn't a riddle or it would have already started talking to her…What could it be?

It hit her like a ton of bricks. With a deadpan expression on her face she looked up at the gargoyle and muttered. "Lemon drops."

The thing leapt aside, revealing a winding staircase. She rushed up it and swung the door open. Her mouth dropped as she took in the room. It was a large and beautiful circular room, full of funny little noises. A number of curious silver instruments stood on spindle-legged tables, whirring and emitting little puffs of smoke. The walls were covered with portraits of old headmasters and headmistresses, all of whom were snoozing gently in their frames. There was also an enormous, claw-footed desk, and, sitting on a shelf behind it, a shabby, tainted wizard's hat.

Albus was sitting at the desk writing something, completely unbothered by her barging in. She flicked her wand and conjured a stuffed armchair, settling in in heavily. He looked up from his writing a moment later, confusion written across his face. "Is there something wrong?"

"Albus," said Ellen, making sure her words were slow and deliberate. "Are we cursed?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Albus, his expression genuinely bewildered.

Ellen slumped in her chair and ran a hand over her face. "You really don't know who he is, do you?"

"Are you speaking of Professor Mikk? Because I assure you that he has excellent credentials and has been a great addition to our staff."

"Oh my god, you really have no clue," said Ellen. "Tyki Mikk is Joyd."

"What kind of danger are the children in?"

She reached out and grabbed his wrinkled hand in her own smooth one. "I…I don't think that they are. We've spoken, Tyki and I, and I think his reasons for being here are innocent."

"And of your mission to protect Harry? Could Professor Mikk perhaps be persuaded to help?" said Albus. He was frowning, the lines of his worry etched so deeply into his face that she feared they would never disappear.

"Tyki will never be truly loyal to anyone but his family. He'd sooner rip out Harry's heart if he thought it would be for the best of the Clan." She ran her hands through her tangled hair. "I'm afraid he isn't the only one here. Apocryphos always said we were like cockroaches, where there is one there will almost certainly be another. The Clan would never let him come here alone."

The old friends sat there in silence, Ellen's words of condemnation echoing in their ears. There was a path that stood before them. They could choose the safe option and keep the Noah at a distance from their entire operation, but if there was even a chance that the Clan would side with them… That kind of power on their side would be unimaginable.

"I-I think I can sway him though.," Ellen finally forced out. "Do you have a spare Pensieve?"

Albus nodded and turned his wand on a cabinet, the glowing copper bowl floating to sit on the edge of his desk. They both rose to stand in front of it, Ellen taking a deep breath. "What I am going to show you is something that I have never told another person. I beg of you, please don't think any less of me for it."

She took another deep breath and placed her wand on her temple. As she pulled it away several glowing silver threads followed it, settling like water into the bowl. Ellen placed her hand in Albus's and together they leaned into the Pensieve.

* * *

They were falling headfirst into blackness, spinning about until they landed in front of what appeared to be a tiny church in the middle of nowhere. Even though they were nothing more than visitors in a memory that was long since passed, Ellen could still smell the flowers blooming in the fields around them and feel the warm breeze that had blown through her hair. She moved slowly around the church as if she was afraid to disturb the world around her, Albus following close behind.

There was a small meadow behind the chapel with bright yellow flowers blooming as far as the eye could see. The wind carried the sound of laughter towards them, their gaze falling on where a young couple was laying on a blanket watching the clouds, the remnants of a picnic scattered on the cloth around them.

Ellen and Albus moved closer until they could make out the faces of the couple before them. The girl had short white hair that kept blowing in her face, her black and red jacket discarded next to her. She was dressed in a peculiar fashion for the time, her pants fitted and a bright red ribbon tied around the collar of her uniform shirt. The man next to her was dressed in much finer clothing and his curly purple hair had been pulled back into a low ponytail. Through all appearances, the couple should not have been near each other yet they were laughing and looking at each other as if they were the only two people that existed in the world.

"Don't you wish this was our life?" The memory of Ellen snuggled further into her love's side. "We could just leave and find a place where we could be normal and happy."

"I know, _menina_," Tyki pressed a soft kiss against her forehead and smiled sadly.

"I love you. I love you so much, why doesn't that change anything?"

"We could change everything, my love."

"How? How is this ever going to work, Tyki?"

He pressed another kiss against her forehead, her cheeks, her nose before finally capturing her lips in the sweetest of embraces. "Let me take you away from them."

"You don't..." Ellen jerked away from him, her eyes wide with shock. "You can't possibly mean..."

"I love you," He repeated, reaching into his pocket. "I want you to be my wife. Say you'll marry me."

She threw her arms around him and pulled his face to hers, kissing him over and over again. Between every kiss she whispered yes, yes, yes. Tyki simply pulled her closer and held her with the happiest look she had ever seen him wear.

* * *

She and Albus stood there for a moment before the memory blurred, landing them outside the same church. Snow was falling all around them in the darkness.

Ellen and Albus stood there for a moment before the doors swung open, the memory of Ellen and Tyki exiting through them. The young exorcist was wrapped in a simple blue gown and coat, her eyes shining as she looked up at her groom. She giggled in the dark of the night and pulled Tyki even closer. "You bribed the priest! How on earth did you bribe the priest?"

"It was the only way we could escape the monstrosity Sheril was planning for us."

"My husband..." Ellen ran her hand down his cheek with a wide grin painted across her face and her cheeks flushed with the cold. "You are the only man I would ever elope with."

* * *

The memory blurred again as the two raced off in the darkness, laughter echoing around them.

* * *

The room they found themselves in was threadbare at the very least. It was easy to hear the commotion of the city outside of their window, drunks yelling and the sounds of bottles crashing against the cobblestones below. It was a dump. It was a place that no one would have ever thought to look for them.

The couple looked even worse than the room itself. Ellen's coat was torn and singed in places and her hair was covered in dried blood. There was a black eye that was blooming and her lip looked like it had been badly split. Tyki was no better off with the way he was holding his side and wincing with every movement as Ellen cleaned the shallow cuts that covered his torso. Their voices were low as if they were trying their best not to get caught in a room together, making it almost impossible to understand what was being said.

They watched as Ellen stepped away from him and bit her lip in concern. She called out Tyki's name and the moment he looked up she placed a single hand on her stomach and nodded.

Tyki's face lit up as he shot up off of the bed, grinning through whatever pain he was in to lift his wife up and spin her around in a hug before kissing her deeply. When he finally set her down she placed his hand on her stomach and watched as his face filled with wonder over the life they had created together.

* * *

It blurred.

* * *

This time Ellen was alone in a dark stone room, clutching her rounded stomach and sobbing.

There was blood all over the bed and her lower half. She was screaming out to her beloved until her throat had gone raw, only the broken shrieks remaining. A man with a blonde braid was standing over her completely emotionless, just watching her suffer. The girl wailed in the darkness once more, having nothing to do but wait until it was over.

* * *

Then they were in a cave somewhere cold. Albus could see Ellen in the same coat as before standing with Tyki and a small girl with navy hair. Her face was hard and emotionless, so completely unlike the expressive person that he had come to know, as she handed them a bright, glowing green crystal.

"It's the Heart," said Ellen, her voice just above a monotone. "I can feel it."

The small girl took it from her and disappeared with it through a set of floating checkered doors, leaving Ellen and Tyki alone.

"Allen..." said Tyki, eyes saddening at the way she flinched away from him. "Allen, love, you don't have to do this. We can defeat them some other way."

"No. I want the Order crushed beneath my feet. They took our baby, Tyki. They killed him. I want them all to suffer how I did."

The other Noah pulled her close and kissed the top of her head gently, just as he had done that day on the hill. "Then they will pay in blood, _menina_."

Her face finally softened as she leaned into his embrace. "I want you to be the one to destroy it. The second that bastard Adam takes his last breath and the oh so righteous Order thinks that they have won, I want you to crush it to pieces."

"For you, anything." Tyki hugged her tighter.

* * *

As the scene moved to a destroyed battlefield, Ellen yanked them both out of the Pensieve. She turned away from Albus and sat down in the chair she had conjured again, rubbing her eyes. They both sat there for what felt like forever, soaking in everything that they had just seen.

Albus moved from behind his desk to kneel before her, wincing at the strain on his joints as he did. She flung her arms around his neck and held tight. Her voice was muffled against his skin as she shook in her dearest friend's arms. "He was my entire heart, Albus. I would have the world burn just so he could feel its warmth."

"You were not a monster for loving him."

Ellen pressed her lips together thinly. "If you wish, I can get him to help us. He won't tell me no, not now that he's found me."

Albus's eyes softened as he looked at her. "I will not force you to go through that kind of hurt again. You are far too dear to me for me to watch you break your own heart."

"I'm a selfish creature, Albus," said Ellen. "There is so much I want but I…"

"Then I leave the decision up to you," Albus stood. "Love is the most precious thing we can experience. Hold it close."

Ellen threw herself back into his arms and shook the whole while. Albus's hand smoothed over her hand in a soothing motion. She felt so tiny in that moment, so old but so lost at the same time. He was the only tether that she had to the earth; without Albus's presence she would simply float away and leave the empty shell of her body behind. It would have been so easy to drift away; she could have vanished to the top of her Ark and watched down on humanity as the gods of old once did, ever knowing but never willing to leave her marble throne. But Albus held her tight and made sure that she never did anything as foolish as to drift away from the ones she loved again.

When she finally stepped away from him, he leaned over his desk to scribble something on a piece of parchment. A pass for the class that she had missed, something that absolute piece of shit Severus wouldn't be able to hold against her. God knows that she didn't need to give the man another reason to make her time at the school miserable. Ellen took it without a word and hugged him once more, moving away from him and down the winding staircase.

There was a group of students heading into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom when she finally made her way down the corridor. Ellen slipped into the classroom behind them and into a desk next to Ron. The trio looked over at her with curious expressions, but Ellen kept her eyes forward at the teaching before them. As awful as her afternoon might have been, it was going to get so much worse than she had ever imagined.

* * *

Ellen Walker was a woman that had seen nearly all of the bad that the world had to offer. She'd battled akuma during her youth, gone toe to toe with the Clan of Noah, she'd even been the one to finally vanquish the Earl of Millennium from existence. Her entire life had been colored by rivers of blood that had poured all over her very being. She had through that she knew evil, but she was wrong. Ellen was quickly learning that true, pure evil did not always come in the form of monsters, for the greatest evil she would ever face was standing at the front of the classroom, and it was _pink_.

The woman, Professor Umbridge, was possibly the most horrifying thing that Ellen had ever laid eyes on. Her face was squat and toad-like and her hair was painfully thin, the tiny bow she was wearing hanging on by a few strands. Ellen had seen the twisted souls of every akuma in her path down to the completely vile Level 4's, but none of that had prepared her for the pink nightmare that was assaulting her eyes. It was actually growing more and more painful for her to keep staring at the woman, but she couldn't look away.

It was like she was watching a train crash and burn, only Ellen felt like she was the train and Umbridge was the wall she was heading for at full speed. The room around her was completely quiet too. It seemed like the rest of the students were experiencing the same existential horror as Ellen. A collective trauma brought on by an overdose of bubblegum pink.

Umbridge stared them all down from her place at the front of the classroom, the twisted little smile never leaving her face. She huffed in what she thought must have been a girlish manner when the last student took their seat before she assaulted their ears as well with her equally terrible voice. "Well, good afternoon!"

A few people mumbled "Good afternoon," back to her, but the majority of the students were still staring at her in hopes that she would vanish. If only they could be that lucky.

"Tut, tut," said Umbridge with another airy huff. "That won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"

Ellen watched as most of the class exchanged looks with their friends as they reluctantly replied to her. "Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge."

"There, now," giggled the awful toadish woman. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."

There was some quiet muttering as the students begrudgingly put away their wands, the slight protest being the first emotion the group had shown so far, besides the complete disgust at their professor's appearance. The sound of paper and quills rustling about filled the room as Umbridge finally turned away from them to reach into her purse. She pulled out her wand to grasp between her stubby fingers and tapped against the blackboard loud enough to make some of the Gryffindors jump at the sound. Chalk rose up into the air at her command and scrawled across the board in girly cursive:

**Defense Against the Dark Arts  
A Return to Basic Principles.**

"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?" said Umbridge with an infuriatingly smug face. She directed a sickly sweet down at them as she clasped her hands in faux concern, like she could convince them that she wasn't going to be the biggest pain of their year. "The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your O.W.L. year. You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please."

She rapped the blackboard again; the first message vanished and was replaced by:

**Course aims:**

**1\. The principles underlying defensive magic.  
2\. To recognize situations in which defensive magic can legally be used.  
3\. The use of defensive magic in a context for practical use.**

Umbridge gave them another sickly sweet smile when she saw them all copying down the words on the board. At least, most of them were. Ellen had only been in the class for less than fifteen minutes and something told her that she wasn't going to be gaining anything from it. She twirled her quill across the parchment leaving little circles where her notes should have been. The pink menace's voice pulled her out of her doodling.

"Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

The class's response was no more than an unenthusiastic mutter agreeing with her, most of the students still grumbling over putting their wands away.

"I think we'll try that again," said Umbridge. "When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply 'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' or 'No, Professor Umbridge.' So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

"Yes, Professor Umbridge."

"Good," chirped Umbridge, her voice far too chipper. "I should like you to turn to page five and read chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners.' There will be no need to talk."

The room fell completely silent at her request. The atmosphere around them felt dull and heavy like the History of Magic classroom, except here they did not even have the constant droning of a ghost to fill the silence. All of the noise that could be heard was the occasional turning of a page and the scratching noise Ellen's quill made as she doodled her way across the parchment. Most of the students seemed to have consigned themselves to just absentmindedly staring at the the page in front of them. There was no motivation to read, no drive for them to learn what was waiting for them on the next page.

The only person that was not just staring at their book and waiting for class to end was Hermione. Her book was still sitting on her desk in the same spot that she had originally set it in and she hadn't even opened it to the first page. Instead she was staring directly at Umbridge with her hand held high up in the air.

What was once a boring lesson quickly became a battle of wills; Umbridge was deliberately ignoring the hand that was still sticking straight up in the air, instead choosing to gaze around the classroom. The air around them became more and more awkward as the students abandoned pretending to read the text in favor of watching the situation go down. It wasn't until nearly half the class was staring at them that Umbridge seemed to realize that she couldn't just ignore Hermione Granger and expect her to go away. That just wasn't how Hermione worked.

"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" said Umbridge, faking a concerned look as if she had only just seen Hermione's hand raised.

"Not about the chapter, no," said Hermione.

"Well, we're reading just now," replied Umbridge, her grin showing her small, pointed teeth. "If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."

"I've got a query about your course aims."

Ellen quickly had to resist the urge to slam her forehead down against the desk; surely unconsciousness would be preferable to whatever shit-show was about to go down. She observed as the pointy grin that Umbridge was wearing grew sharper, her eyes narrowing more to the point where she was almost glaring at Hermione. Umbridge gave one of those girly giggles before responding. "And your name is — ?"

"Hermione Granger."

"Well, Miss Granger," said Umbridge in a sugary sweet voice. "I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully."

"I don't," said Hermione bluntly. "There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells."

"Using defensive spells?" Umbridge repeated with a little laugh that she must have thought sounded cute. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"

Ron turned to her with his mouth agape. "We're not going to use magic?"

"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr.—?"

"Weasley," said Ron, thrusting his hand into the air before she could correct him again.

Professor Umbridge turned away just as Harry and Hermione lifted their hands in the air. Ellen could feel her fingers twitching with desire to do the same to raise her hand and rip the woman apart verbally since she wouldn't be allowed to do it physically. Murder would probably lead to expulsion. _Probably_. She glanced over at Hermione, ignoring Harry's raised hand. "Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?"

"Yes," said Hermione. "Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?"

"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?"

"No, but —"

"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is," said Umbridge with the smuggest look on her face. "Wizards _much_ older and cleverer than you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way—"

"What use is that?" said Harry loudly. "If we're going to be attacked it won't be in a—"

"Hand, Mr. Potter!" sang Professor Umbridge. Harry thrust his fist in the air. Professor Umbridge promptly turned away from him again, but the damage had already been done. Half of the Gryffindor fifth years now had their hands in the air, frowns painted across their faces as they listened to what was going on.

"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?" said one of the boys, Dean, if Ellen was right. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk-free —"

"I repeat," replied Umbridge with that awful smile carved onto her face, "do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"

"No, but—"

She continued to talk as if he wasn't speaking. "I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this school," said Umbridge, an unconvincing smile stretching her wide mouth, "but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed — not to mention," she gave a nasty little laugh as she looked over at Ellen, "extremely dangerous half-breeds."

Ellen could physically feel her patience getting thinner and thinner with every word that fell from the awful woman's thin lips. The quill in her right hand was starting to bend under her grip, getting dangerously close to snapping by the minute. Her sharp talon-like nails on her left hand started to gouge deep holes in the wooden desk as she gripped the edge to stop herself from lashing out. Half-breeds. _Dangerous_ half-breeds. This woman wasn't just talking about Ellen, she was slandering Remus's name. Remus, the man that was so terrified of hurting someone on the full moon that he was still beating himself up about the incident from three years ago that he'd told her about. Ellen's eyes were burning as they shifted from silver to yellow, staring down at her parchment to stop herself from leaping from her desk and fulfilling her newfound fantasy of ripping the witch's head off to mount next to all of the Black family house elves.

"If you mean Professor Lupin," said Dean furiously, "he was the best we ever —"

"Hand, Mr. Thomas! As I was saying — you have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group, and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day —"

"No we haven't," said Hermione, "we just —"

"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!"

Hermione put up her hand but it made no difference. Umbridge turned away from her with the faintest sneer painted across her face. The awful woman took a deep, shuddering breath as through what the students were saying was just so terribly upsetting to her. Umbridge exhaled with another airy huff. "It is my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed them on you —"

"Well, he turned out to be a maniac, didn't he?" said Dean Thomas. "Mind you, we still learned loads —"

"Your hand is not up, Mr. Thomas!" trilled Professor Umbridge.

"Now, it is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient to get you through your examination, which, after all, is what school is all about. And your name is?" she added, staring at Parvati, whose hand had just shot up.

"Parvati Patil, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.? Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do the counter-curses and things?"

"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions," said Professor Umbridge dismissively.

"Without ever practicing them before?" said Parvati incredulously. "Are you telling us that the first time we'll get to do the spells will be during our exam?"

"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough —"

"And what good's theory going to be in the real world?" said Harry loudly, his fist in the air again. Professor Umbridge looked up.

"This is school, Mr. Potter, not the real world," she said softly.

Ellen shoved her own hand in the air, cutting off whatever Harry was about to say. "Ellen, Ellen Walker. You know, the real world doesn't stop just because classes start, Professor."

"There is not the real world," repeated Umbridge. "I know you're new to schooling, Miss Walker, but nothing is waiting for you."

"I don't mean to be rude, but I can personally say that there is much more hiding away than _wizards_ realize," said Ellen, her yellow eyes staring straight at Umbridge. "There are monsters that wait for us in the shadows. It would be wise of us to be wary."

"What do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?" said Professor Umbridge in a horribly honeyed voice.

"Hmm, let's think..." said Harry before Ellen had the chance to stop him, "maybe Lord Voldemort?"

The reaction was near instantaneous. Several of the students physically recoiled in horror at the name while simply buried her face in her hands. She'd given him a chance. She'd given Harry a chance to just calm down and keep his damn mouth _shut_ and he couldn't manage that. Professor Umbridge, however, did not flinch at the sound of the name. Instead she was staring down at Harry with a disgustingly satisfied expression painted across her face. This is what she had wanted. The awful woman had actually gone and goaded a teenage boy into giving her the reaction that she was looking for.

Ellen had never felt so disgusted with a normal human being.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter." The classroom was silent and still. Everyone was staring at either Umbridge or Harry.

"Now, let me make a few things quite plain." Professor Umbridge stood up and leaned against the desk, her hands splayed across the surface. "You have been told that a certain Dark wizard has returned from the dead —"

"He wasn't dead," said Harry angrily, "but yeah, he's returned!"

"Mr.-Potter-you-have-already-lost-your-House-ten-points-do-not-make-matters-worse-for-yourself," said Professor Umbridge in one breath without looking at him. "As I was saying, you have been informed that a certain Dark wizard is at large once again. This is a lie."

"It is NOT a lie!" said Harry. "I saw him, I fought him!"

"Detention, Mr. Potter!" said Professor Umbridge triumphantly. "Tomorrow evening. Five o'clock. My office. I repeat, this is a lie. The Ministry of Magic guarantees that you are not in danger from any Dark wizard. If you are still worried, by all means come and see me outside class hours. If someone is alarming you with fibs about reborn Dark wizards, I would like to hear about it. I am here to help. I am your friend. And now, you will kindly continue your reading. Page five, 'Basics for Beginners.' "

Professor Umbridge sat down behind her desk again with a smug little flounce of her pink jacket. She watched as Harry's entire body went tense, his spine standing ramrod straight as his hands shook in anger. He practically flew when he stood up angrily, staring down the awful woman with a heated glare. Ellen grabbed at his sleeve as hard as she could without puncturing the fabric with her talons, trying to yank Harry back down into his seat. He pulled his arm out of her grasp with a sharp tug and spoke, his voice shaking all the while. "So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?"

The entire class audibly gasped when he said Cedric's name, staring at Harry like they couldn't believe what he had just done. Obviously the boys' death was not something that any of them had talked about before, yet here Harry was, bringing it up in the middle of an argument with their brand new professor. Their eyes jumped back and forth from Harry to Professor Umbridge, who had raised her eyes and was staring at him without a trace of a fake smile on her face.

"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident," she said coldly.

"It was murder," said Harry, his whole body shaking with rage. "Voldemort killed him, and you know it."

Professor Umbridge's face was quite blank. For a moment Ellen was sure that the woman was going to lose it and start screaming at Harry. Then she said, in her softest, most sweetly girlish voice, "Come here, Mr. Potter, dear."

He kicked his chair aside and stormed up to the woman's desk. The rest of the class watched Professor Umbridge pull a small roll of pink parchment out of her handbag and stretch it out onto her desk. She dipped her quill into a bottle of ink, and started scribbling, the sound echoing in the complete silence of the room.. Nobody spoke. After a minute or so she rolled up the parchment and tapped it with her wand; it sealed itself seamlessly so that he could not open it.

"Take this to Professor McGonagall, dear," said Professor Umbridge, holding out the note to him. Harry took it without saying a word and left the classroom, slamming the door behind him. He had not even looked at Ron and Hermione when he left.

Professor Umbridge turned away from her. "Page five, _Basics for Beginners_." She repeated.

Ellen felt her hands clench against the desk, the talons on her left hand gouging scratches against the old hardwood. It took everything in her to keep the tenuous grasp that she had on her normal appearance, the pale tone of her skin taking on an almost grey shade. The presence in the back of her mind was banging against her skull, screeching and screaming for her to reach out and skin the awful toad. She angrily looked back at her textbook, not reading a single word until the bell rang dismissing them. She all but threw the thing in her bag and stormed out of the room, determined not to speak to anyone for the rest of the night.

* * *

Ellen could hear Hermione calling her name but she ignored her. Slipping into an empty classroom, she opened an Ark gate to the atrium she had gone to last time, uncaring at the amount of light that must have been pouring out into the corridor from the gate. It was still drizzling steadily in the Ark, the entire town washed with grey.

She waved her arm and allowed the rain to increase. Looking over at the sparkling pond she flung off her damp uniform, mindful of the doxy that was relaxing in the still dry pocket. The damned pool was still there completely untouched by the downpour around it. It was glowing a faint blue color as Ellen approached it and knelt down at the edge to stare into the same reflection she had seen before. The girl in the pond still looked so sad and lonely, even more so now that Ellen herself was so discouraged.

Before she could stop herself, Ellen reached out to stroke her reflection's face with a single finger. The pond rippled at her touch and shone an even brighter blue as her reflection suddenly grinned wickedly. Her dark gray hand rose up out of the water and wrapped around Ellen's wrist; it only took one sharp tug and Ellen was tumbling into the water, the brilliant blue clouding all of her senses.

It felt like she was falling. Her reflection was falling next to her, their fingers intertwined as they sped through the blue nothingness that surrounded them. As much as she tried to pull away or even scream to get away from whatever monster was tugging her deep into the Ark, it was like Ellen could not move a single muscle. All she could do was stare into the demented yellow eyes that rested on a face so much like her own and pray that this did not spell the end for her.

The reflection started to laugh like it could feel her panic and the sound of it turned Ellen's blood cold. It was the same laugh she had been ignoring for the past century, the laugh that begged her to do all the wicked deeds her heart desired and to give up all control of the body that she had been born with. This was Neah's laugh.

Ellen found herself floating down into a bright room filled with different pillars. The ceiling above her was the same blue as the pond had been, casting an eerie blue glow over the entire room. Her reflection was gone but the laughter remained from somewhere behind her. It took all of the strength that she had to turn around and face what she knew was waiting for her, what had been waiting for her since the moment Noah decided that she was to be the host of one of his beloved memories.

Neah was still kneeling, his arms and torso chained to the pillar behind him. Binding him down had been the only way that she was able to keep him from taking over her body. Despite the fact that he was literally chained up his face was the same look of smug satisfaction that he always wore, as if he had won some sort of battle simply by continuing to exist in the depths of her mind.

She walked over and knelt in front of him, their positions mirrored. He was everything that she wasn't; Neah was dark where she was light, his eyes the same gold to mirror her own silver. He was cruel when she refused to be.

"You think you can keep running," said Neah with a laugh, "The Clan has caught up to you, it's time to finally face them."

"I don't care anymore."

He clicked his tongue at her. "You should, little Allen. We still haven't brought about the Three Days of Darkness. It's only a matter of time."

"You're more of a fool than I thought you were if you still believe that's going to happen," said Ellen with a snort. "You're locked away Neah. I'm never going to let you out of here."

"Arrogance is unbecoming, my dear host."

"It isn't arrogance if it's the truth."

Neah began to chuckle again, the sound morphing into maniacal laughter that seemed to echo throughout the whole room. It bounced off of the pillars and the ground around them to ring in her ears with deafening volume. She cringed at the sound and covered her ears with her hands as if it would protect her from the pain. "Don't you see Allen?"

_"Don't you see?"_

More laughter.

**_"I've already won."_**

She blinked and the room around her was gone, replaced by the same blue pool she had been kneeling in front of. Her reflection was no longer there, just the flat blue water that seemed to mock her with its very existence. Ellen stumbled away from the pool as fast as she could, her hands scraping against the ground in her panic. She fumbled her way to her feet and began to sprint away from the wretched thing, away from the own terrors that still existed in her mind.

The rain around her had chilled her to the bone by the time that Ellen finally opened up a gate and tripped out into an empty hallway. She didn't even have the presence of mind to dry herself and look like she hadn't just run through a torrential downpour. Water dripped from her hair and clothes as she slowly made her way through the hallway, ignoring any stares that she received from students that she passed along the way. Her body was simply moving on autopilot to find its way back to the common room where she could get warm again.

Had it ever been cold in her Ark before? Or was the chill simply radiating out from her very core?

By the time that she found her way back to Gryffindor tower, she was almost damp and her eyelids were drooping from the effort of staying awake. Ellen could dimly hear Harry and his friends asking after her when she stepped through the portrait, but she didn't care. All that mattered to her was getting up the stairs and into a bed where she could drift away from the nightmare of staying awake.

Ellen stripped of her wet clothes and laid down in her dormitory bed, pulling the curtains closed around her. She pulled her knees up to her chest as she lay there and hugged them against her body in an attempt to provide some comfort. Despite all that she was trying to tell herself in that moment, Ellen was scared. She was terrified and nothing she told herself would change it.

* * *

**i promised myself that this was going to be a filler chapter then BOOM! almost 10k words.**

**why am i like this**

**here is lucky chapter seven. please let me know what you think of the changes that i've made to the story so far! i just wrote one of the final scenes of the next fic and wow i made myself cry, i can't wait**


	8. Not an update, but just as important

Hello.

Black Lives Matter. There are serious, important things that are happening in my country right now. I believe strongly in the things that I stand for and BLM is one of those things. I say this because I don't know when I will be updating again. It feels wrong to be writing fanfiction when so many BIPOC are being targeted simply based on the color of their skin. For all of you who are out protesting right now, be safe. Stay together. Do not be discouraged from using your voice to uplift those that have been marginalized in our society. I am so, so proud of you for standing up for what you believe in and I know that we will bring about real change.

On the same note, there are other reasons that I might take time to update this work. JK Rowling's comments on transgender women were nothing short of abhorrent. I am a gay woman that is in a beautiful, loving relationship with the most amazing woman in the world that happens to be trans. I know that many of us have created the representation that we so desperately craved within the HP series, but this is something that I will have to come to terms to.

I understand that this is not something that all of my readers will agree with and you are more than welcome to never read another word of what I post again. But these are not a political issue. These are both moral issues and it is not something that I will ever budge on.

Thank you all for both your time and your support.


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